Georgia Tech at Virginia
October 31 at Scott Stadium in Charlottesville, VA
Fox Sports South
Maryland at Iowa
October 31 at Kinnick Stadium in Iowa City, IA
ESPN
Game 50 - North Carolina at Pittsburgh
October 29 at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, PA
ESPN
We have a new entry for Comment of the Year, and it's provided by color commentator Kelly Stouffer:
He's talking about Pitt's Tyler Boyd, a WIDE RECEIVER, after Boyd made a catch:
"Boyd runs really good routes, but probably the best thing he does is right there - catch the football."
Thanks, Kelly!
* Some more Stouffer Nonsense:
"Low percentage vertical throws"
"Explosive elements"
"A man-beating route"
"Seeking space"
"Mass of humanity"
"Alpha receiver"
"Play extender"
"He doesn't have to carry the weight on his shoulders"
ESPN
We have a new entry for Comment of the Year, and it's provided by color commentator Kelly Stouffer:
He's talking about Pitt's Tyler Boyd, a WIDE RECEIVER, after Boyd made a catch:
"Boyd runs really good routes, but probably the best thing he does is right there - catch the football."
Thanks, Kelly!
* Some more Stouffer Nonsense:
"Low percentage vertical throws"
"Explosive elements"
"A man-beating route"
"Seeking space"
"Mass of humanity"
"Alpha receiver"
"Play extender"
"He doesn't have to carry the weight on his shoulders"
Game 49 - Baltimore Ravens at Arizona Cardinals
October 26 at University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, AZ
ESPN
ESPN
Game 48 - Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants
October 25 at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ
FOX
My friend Marc
is a Giants fan, so I wrote down all of the things he screamed about his team, the Cowboys and other NFL-related things during NY's 27-20 victory.
"Don't run it out, you idiot!"
"Oh look, Larry Donnell caught a ball and didn't give it to the other team."
(On Eli Manning) "There's infuriating play number one."
"What a terrible throw that was!"
"The Giants are the worst team in NFL."
"B - R - O - W - N - S Browns!"
"The Giants are pathetic" (said twice)
"Oh, pick it off you loser!"
"Wow! What a play by the Giants there!"
"Oh look, the Giants kicker just kicked the ball out of bounds."
"What kind of a throw was that?!"
"You can't tackle him? The big, slow white guy?!"
"Why is he even holding? Is he blocking for the other team?"
"He's such a loser, Eli Manning" (said three times)
"Infuriating play number three, right before the half"
"Eli Manning is such an idiot"
"Chargers football!"
"That play stunk" (said three times)
FOX
My friend Marc
is a Giants fan, so I wrote down all of the things he screamed about his team, the Cowboys and other NFL-related things during NY's 27-20 victory.
"Don't run it out, you idiot!"
"Oh look, Larry Donnell caught a ball and didn't give it to the other team."
(On Eli Manning) "There's infuriating play number one."
"What a terrible throw that was!"
"The Giants are the worst team in NFL."
"B - R - O - W - N - S Browns!"
"The Giants are pathetic" (said twice)
"Oh, pick it off you loser!"
"Wow! What a play by the Giants there!"
"Oh look, the Giants kicker just kicked the ball out of bounds."
"What kind of a throw was that?!"
"You can't tackle him? The big, slow white guy?!"
"Why is he even holding? Is he blocking for the other team?"
"He's such a loser, Eli Manning" (said three times)
"Infuriating play number three, right before the half"
"Eli Manning is such an idiot"
"Chargers football!"
"That play stunk" (said three times)
Game 46 - Florida State at Georgia Tech
October 24 at Bobby Dodd Stadium in Atlanta, GA
I'll start with an important public service announcement
And that probably wasn't the only reason there were some grumpy band members because THIS is how the game ended:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV0YvPnmZsU
I'll start with an important public service announcement
And that probably wasn't the only reason there were some grumpy band members because THIS is how the game ended:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV0YvPnmZsU
Game 45 - Iowa State at Baylor
October 24 at McLane Stadium in Waco, TX
ESPN
Baylor really didn't have much trouble with Iowa State, winning 45-27. But, as has become customary at this site and others, I'd rather just talk about ridiculous things said by humans about sports.
Here's what we have from Saturday:
"When that motor runs and that engine revs, he's a difference maker"
Engine revs! Excellent start.
"The chunk cut"
Don't say chunk cut.
"He's a football player"
Thank goodness. It would've been an embarrassing situation if he were a lacrosse player.
TYLER, put the STICK DOWN.
"This is a a pride drive, it's an opportunity drive"
It's a pridertunity drive.
"Mel Kiper's big board"
Would be great if the board was on a wall in Mel Kiper's bathroom until April when he unhooks it, shoves it in the back seat of his car and drives to the draft.
"He's our coach on the field"
You know what, it's time for a player-coach in college football. Let's get Jimbo Fisher out there at free safety, or Mangino needs to play nose tackle.
"Almost the definition of 'throwing your wide receiver open'"
That has a definition?
Some others:
"personnel groupings"
"they take your will away"
"this is a hat on a hat"
"variance in his game"
"lost 2 or 3 yards of real estate"
"that's a tough recipe"
"owned at the point of attack"
"quick bootleg action"
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
Please welcome referee Brad Van Vark
ESPN
Baylor really didn't have much trouble with Iowa State, winning 45-27. But, as has become customary at this site and others, I'd rather just talk about ridiculous things said by humans about sports.
Here's what we have from Saturday:
"When that motor runs and that engine revs, he's a difference maker"
Engine revs! Excellent start.
"The chunk cut"
Don't say chunk cut.
"He's a football player"
Thank goodness. It would've been an embarrassing situation if he were a lacrosse player.
TYLER, put the STICK DOWN.
"This is a a pride drive, it's an opportunity drive"
It's a pridertunity drive.
"Mel Kiper's big board"
Would be great if the board was on a wall in Mel Kiper's bathroom until April when he unhooks it, shoves it in the back seat of his car and drives to the draft.
"He's our coach on the field"
You know what, it's time for a player-coach in college football. Let's get Jimbo Fisher out there at free safety, or Mangino needs to play nose tackle.
"Almost the definition of 'throwing your wide receiver open'"
That has a definition?
Some others:
"personnel groupings"
"they take your will away"
"this is a hat on a hat"
"variance in his game"
"lost 2 or 3 yards of real estate"
"that's a tough recipe"
"owned at the point of attack"
"quick bootleg action"
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
Please welcome referee Brad Van Vark
Game 43 - Temple at East Carolina
October 22 at Dowdy-Ficklen Stadium in Greenville, NC
ESPN
A truly excellent night for the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars as we added three new members to the team:
Temple
Brodrick Yancy
East Carolina
Zeek Bigger
Rocco Scarfone
ESPN
A truly excellent night for the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars as we added three new members to the team:
Temple
Brodrick Yancy
East Carolina
Zeek Bigger
Rocco Scarfone
Game 42 - New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles
October 19 at Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia, PA
ESPN
ESPN
Game 41 - Georgia State at Ball State
October 17 at Scheumann Stadium in Muncie, IN
espn3.com
It's been an extremely-difficult first 2 1/2 seasons in Division 1 for Georgia State, which came into the day having won just twice in 27 games since the start of the 2013 season. But Saturday was one of the Panthers' finest days in the upper division as Nick Arbuckle threw for 412 yards, 125 of which (and a touchdown) went to Robert Davis, and ran for two scores in a 31-19 win.
The former junior college quarterback Arbuckle is getting more and more comfortable in his second season as a Panther, and if the defense can be anything better than horrendous (109th nationally allowing an average of 35 1/2 points), the Atlanta school may be able to pick up another win or two in 2015.
Play-by-play man Jim Barbar
Quite a day for Barbar. Let's take a look.
1. Pre-game: "They say you can't teach height."
They do?
2. Mid-fourth quarter: "Could we have some dramatic endings to this game?"
Ending(s)?
3. After Georgia State scored a first quarter touchdown to go up 6-3: "Georgia State draws first blood."
It appears that Jim Barbar doesn't know what "draws first blood" means.
And these things were also said:
"The first points of the second half and it couldn't have come at a better opportunity for Georgia State."
"Ball State 9 for 11 on fourth down, that's one of your more positive numbers in the country."
(On a kick off) "And Dylan Curry with the reception."
espn3.com
It's been an extremely-difficult first 2 1/2 seasons in Division 1 for Georgia State, which came into the day having won just twice in 27 games since the start of the 2013 season. But Saturday was one of the Panthers' finest days in the upper division as Nick Arbuckle threw for 412 yards, 125 of which (and a touchdown) went to Robert Davis, and ran for two scores in a 31-19 win.
The former junior college quarterback Arbuckle is getting more and more comfortable in his second season as a Panther, and if the defense can be anything better than horrendous (109th nationally allowing an average of 35 1/2 points), the Atlanta school may be able to pick up another win or two in 2015.
Play-by-play man Jim Barbar
Quite a day for Barbar. Let's take a look.
1. Pre-game: "They say you can't teach height."
They do?
2. Mid-fourth quarter: "Could we have some dramatic endings to this game?"
Ending(s)?
3. After Georgia State scored a first quarter touchdown to go up 6-3: "Georgia State draws first blood."
It appears that Jim Barbar doesn't know what "draws first blood" means.
And these things were also said:
"The first points of the second half and it couldn't have come at a better opportunity for Georgia State."
"Ball State 9 for 11 on fourth down, that's one of your more positive numbers in the country."
(On a kick off) "And Dylan Curry with the reception."
Game 40 - San Diego State at San Jose State
October 17 at Spartan Stadium in San Jose, CA
ESPN
San Diego State's Donnel Pumphrey was excellent - 207 yards from scrimmage and two touchdowns - in the Aztecs' 30-7 win.
Color commentator David Diaz-Infante had this to say about the junior back:
"He's one of the best running backs in the country that no one knows about."
1. So, Pumphrey is one of the best running backs of the running backs no one knows about?
2. How do we know how good he is if no one knows about him?
3. How many broadcasts of San Diego State games will it take before someone knows something?
ESPN
San Diego State's Donnel Pumphrey was excellent - 207 yards from scrimmage and two touchdowns - in the Aztecs' 30-7 win.
Color commentator David Diaz-Infante had this to say about the junior back:
"He's one of the best running backs in the country that no one knows about."
1. So, Pumphrey is one of the best running backs of the running backs no one knows about?
2. How do we know how good he is if no one knows about him?
3. How many broadcasts of San Diego State games will it take before someone knows something?
Game 38 - Loganville HS at Salem HS
October 16 at Salem Stadium in Conyers, GA
Things got LOUD at times in the press box. Two-year old dropped her sippy cup loud.
The public address announcer named the Salem defense "the human wall" early on and he stuck with until the very end, saying it nine times over the course of Loganville's 20-9 victory.
Unfortunately for Salem, its quarterback, Gerald Walker was the human throwing the ball to the other team, tossing five interceptions, two of which were returned for touchdowns.
Some other sounds from the PA, coaches and radio people:
"he doesn't put it on the carpet"
"knocking at the door"
"we've got laundry on the field"
"march down the field, get in the red zone"
"the Salem angels are on our side"
"that's a tall order"
"he's carrying the ball like a loaf of bread"
Things got LOUD at times in the press box. Two-year old dropped her sippy cup loud.
The public address announcer named the Salem defense "the human wall" early on and he stuck with until the very end, saying it nine times over the course of Loganville's 20-9 victory.
Unfortunately for Salem, its quarterback, Gerald Walker was the human throwing the ball to the other team, tossing five interceptions, two of which were returned for touchdowns.
Some other sounds from the PA, coaches and radio people:
"he doesn't put it on the carpet"
"knocking at the door"
"we've got laundry on the field"
"march down the field, get in the red zone"
"the Salem angels are on our side"
"that's a tall order"
"he's carrying the ball like a loaf of bread"
Game 37 - Alabama State at Arkansas-Pine Bluff
October 15 at Golden Lion Stadium in Pine Bluff, AR
ESPNU
ESPNU
Game 36 - Arkansas State at South Alabama
October 13 at Ladd-Peebles Stadium in Mobile, AL
ESPN2
I counted some things during this 49-31 Arkansas State victory.
horrible kick coverage - once
terrible, terrible blocking (7)
ahhhh! a 17-yard punt! (1)
ahhhh! a 9-yard punt! (1)
that's not a very good snap (2)
awful, awful tackling (9)
terrible passes (7)
one of the top 5 worst fake punt attempts in college football history (1)
* Rocky Boiman is the color commentator that keeps on giving each week.
He called the South Alabama Jaguars the "jag-u-wires" twice, and also said these things:
"they wanted to set the box" (4)
"and that's why they say 'he will play on Sundays!'" (2)
"he's a one track and go guy. they need to get him going on that train tonight"
"one of the best sack masters in the Sun Belt Conference"
"coming out party"
But Rocky's finest was: "he finally makes their identity whole".
Pardon?
ESPN2
I counted some things during this 49-31 Arkansas State victory.
horrible kick coverage - once
terrible, terrible blocking (7)
ahhhh! a 17-yard punt! (1)
ahhhh! a 9-yard punt! (1)
that's not a very good snap (2)
awful, awful tackling (9)
terrible passes (7)
one of the top 5 worst fake punt attempts in college football history (1)
* Rocky Boiman is the color commentator that keeps on giving each week.
He called the South Alabama Jaguars the "jag-u-wires" twice, and also said these things:
"they wanted to set the box" (4)
"and that's why they say 'he will play on Sundays!'" (2)
"he's a one track and go guy. they need to get him going on that train tonight"
"one of the best sack masters in the Sun Belt Conference"
"coming out party"
But Rocky's finest was: "he finally makes their identity whole".
Pardon?
Game 34 - N.C. State at Virginia Tech
October 9 at Lane Stadium in Blacksburg, VA
ESPN
Had a bit of a rain storm with lightning in Blacksburg, which delayed the kickoff a few minutes.
Play-by-play man Dave Flemming let us a know a few times over the course of the first half:
"here in a wet Blacksburg, Virginia"
"the lightning has stopped, thankfully, but it's still wet"
"here in rainy Blacksburg"
"the storm has past"
"a wet night"
"with all that rain, this field has been wonderful to play on"
"we had a big lightning storm pre-game"
ESPN
Had a bit of a rain storm with lightning in Blacksburg, which delayed the kickoff a few minutes.
Play-by-play man Dave Flemming let us a know a few times over the course of the first half:
"here in a wet Blacksburg, Virginia"
"the lightning has stopped, thankfully, but it's still wet"
"here in rainy Blacksburg"
"the storm has past"
"a wet night"
"with all that rain, this field has been wonderful to play on"
"we had a big lightning storm pre-game"
Game 33 - Tucker HS at Rockdale HS
October 9 at Reid Stadium in Conyers, GA
I almost feel nervous writing it. Like as soon as I'm finished typing the sentence, I'll be dragged before some sort of journalistic accuracy court and the trial will last months.
But: Tucker rushed for 498 yards and averaged 15 yards per carry in a 56-21 victory.
498!
Watching certain high school teams try and play defense is usually worth the price of admission if the price of admission is six paper clips.
I've seen some horrifying high school defenses over the years, and Friday was one of those years. Tucker handed the ball to running backs and they ran fast and far and, I'm assuming, did a good bit of soft chuckling on their way into the end zone.
I almost feel nervous writing it. Like as soon as I'm finished typing the sentence, I'll be dragged before some sort of journalistic accuracy court and the trial will last months.
But: Tucker rushed for 498 yards and averaged 15 yards per carry in a 56-21 victory.
498!
Watching certain high school teams try and play defense is usually worth the price of admission if the price of admission is six paper clips.
I've seen some horrifying high school defenses over the years, and Friday was one of those years. Tucker handed the ball to running backs and they ran fast and far and, I'm assuming, did a good bit of soft chuckling on their way into the end zone.
Game 32 - Washington at USC
October 8 at Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, CA
ESPN
Washington went on the road and won 17-12 over No. 17 USC, thanks to a go-ahead touchdown pass from quarterback Jake Browning to Marvin Hall to Joshua Perkins in the third and a Myles Gaskin one-yard scoring run in the fourth.
But that's now what matters.
What's important are FOUR new additions to the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars.
USC
Marvell Tell
Yooki Quansah
Washington
Vita Vea
Chico McClatcher
Outstanding evening for the all-name team.
ESPN
Washington went on the road and won 17-12 over No. 17 USC, thanks to a go-ahead touchdown pass from quarterback Jake Browning to Marvin Hall to Joshua Perkins in the third and a Myles Gaskin one-yard scoring run in the fourth.
But that's now what matters.
What's important are FOUR new additions to the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars.
USC
Marvell Tell
Yooki Quansah
Washington
Vita Vea
Chico McClatcher
Outstanding evening for the all-name team.
Game 31 - Detroit Lions at Seattle Seahawks
October 5 at CenturyLink Field in Seattle, WA
ESPN
Jon Gruden LOVES some stuff. But he also likes a few things and is impressed by a few other things.
Let's take a look at our Monday Grudens
Love
- "I love this Teryl Austin."
- "I love these Seahawks linebackers"
- "I love the way this kid is playing, Ihedigbo."
- "I love Seattle."
Like
- "I like what Detroit is doing."
- "I like Abdullah."
Impressed
- "I'm impressed with him (Detroit running back Ameer Abdullah)
- "His wingspan is impressive."
Others love too
- "They love Lockett here."
- "Pete Carroll loves these rangy corners."
- "They love to play for Pete Carroll in this Seahawk environment."
Please, please, PLEASE stop saying these things
"Legion of boom" (said three times)
"The 12th man" (4)
"Megatron" (6)
ESPN
Jon Gruden LOVES some stuff. But he also likes a few things and is impressed by a few other things.
Let's take a look at our Monday Grudens
Love
- "I love this Teryl Austin."
- "I love these Seahawks linebackers"
- "I love the way this kid is playing, Ihedigbo."
- "I love Seattle."
Like
- "I like what Detroit is doing."
- "I like Abdullah."
Impressed
- "I'm impressed with him (Detroit running back Ameer Abdullah)
- "His wingspan is impressive."
Others love too
- "They love Lockett here."
- "Pete Carroll loves these rangy corners."
- "They love to play for Pete Carroll in this Seahawk environment."
Please, please, PLEASE stop saying these things
"Legion of boom" (said three times)
"The 12th man" (4)
"Megatron" (6)
Game 30 - Dallas Cowboys at New Orleans Saints
October 4 at The Superdome in New Orleans, LA
NBC
Lots of football phrases tonight
"Big Easy"
"Small ball"
"Three-headed running back situation"
"World beaters"
"Check Down Charlie"
"Crowd in full throat"
"He's really impressed with his work ethic"
"Pocket passer"
"Tweener"
"Mr. Brees"
"Carrying the load"
"One lurk coverage"
"Bountygate"
"Slung down"
"Exotic blitz packages"
"New England lore"
"He exploded off the tape"
"A budding superstar"
"The bacon was saved here"
"Iron man"
"The scoreboard's looked like a pinball machine"
"Elusiveness ratings"
"And now you've got injury to insult"
"Answer the bell"
"A thousand percent"
NBC
Lots of football phrases tonight
"Big Easy"
"Small ball"
"Three-headed running back situation"
"World beaters"
"Check Down Charlie"
"Crowd in full throat"
"He's really impressed with his work ethic"
"Pocket passer"
"Tweener"
"Mr. Brees"
"Carrying the load"
"One lurk coverage"
"Bountygate"
"Slung down"
"Exotic blitz packages"
"New England lore"
"He exploded off the tape"
"A budding superstar"
"The bacon was saved here"
"Iron man"
"The scoreboard's looked like a pinball machine"
"Elusiveness ratings"
"And now you've got injury to insult"
"Answer the bell"
"A thousand percent"
Game 29 - Hawaii at Boise State
October 3 at Albertsons Stadium in Boise, ID
ESPN2
This will probably be the most lopsided game I watch all season as Boise State completely dominated in a 55-0 victory.
Boise had 554 total yards, Hawaii, slightly less (170).
Ray Bentley, part 1
First time listening to Bentley, and a solid first collection of Football Phrases.
"He's a north and south guy"
"Highlight reel"
"Film study"
"The kid just wants it a little but more than anyone else"
"He was spinnin' it"
"Should've taken that to the house"
"The MAC West is a tough sled this year"
And his top 3
3. "Shake and bake with the fake"
2. "Quarterback paint by numbers"
1. "He threw that 50, 55 yards in the air!"
ESPN2
This will probably be the most lopsided game I watch all season as Boise State completely dominated in a 55-0 victory.
Boise had 554 total yards, Hawaii, slightly less (170).
Ray Bentley, part 1
First time listening to Bentley, and a solid first collection of Football Phrases.
"He's a north and south guy"
"Highlight reel"
"Film study"
"The kid just wants it a little but more than anyone else"
"He was spinnin' it"
"Should've taken that to the house"
"The MAC West is a tough sled this year"
And his top 3
3. "Shake and bake with the fake"
2. "Quarterback paint by numbers"
1. "He threw that 50, 55 yards in the air!"
Game 27 - Connecticut at BYU
October 2 at LaVell Edwards Stadium in Provo, UT
ESPN2
Two games announced by Rocky Boiman, two hilarious things said by Rocky Boiman.
Here was game one, and here was Friday evening, a 30-13 BYU win:
"It wouldn't shock me, but I'd certainly be surprised if they tried something like that."
Rocky!
More from play-by-play man Eamon McAnaney
"It's getting chippy in the trenches"
"Home run ball"
"Established your culture"
"Nail into the coffin"
and Boiman
"Rapport"
"Money time"/"money situations"
"You love it when a linebacker sees it, believes it and shoots his gun"
Rocky!
ESPN2
Two games announced by Rocky Boiman, two hilarious things said by Rocky Boiman.
Here was game one, and here was Friday evening, a 30-13 BYU win:
"It wouldn't shock me, but I'd certainly be surprised if they tried something like that."
Rocky!
More from play-by-play man Eamon McAnaney
"It's getting chippy in the trenches"
"Home run ball"
"Established your culture"
"Nail into the coffin"
and Boiman
"Rapport"
"Money time"/"money situations"
"You love it when a linebacker sees it, believes it and shoots his gun"
Rocky!
Game 26 - Gainesville HS at Salem HS
October 2 at Salem Stadium in Conyers, GA
If enough fans had actually attended this game (total attendance: 62) they would've surely gotten some sort of escort situation together to help Gainesville leave the town of Conyers immediately.
Gainesville (mascot: the Red Elephants because of all of Earth's red elephants) forced six turnovers a week after picking up five against Salem's county rival, Heritage. Both games were wins for the visitors, including Friday's 34-6 victory, and the Hall County, GA school is 4-0 in Region 8-AAAAA play.
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
Let's welcome to the team Gainesville safety Weber Lint.
Weber Lint would've been Owen Lift's friend in Throw Momma From The Train if Owen's momma let him have any friends.
If enough fans had actually attended this game (total attendance: 62) they would've surely gotten some sort of escort situation together to help Gainesville leave the town of Conyers immediately.
Gainesville (mascot: the Red Elephants because of all of Earth's red elephants) forced six turnovers a week after picking up five against Salem's county rival, Heritage. Both games were wins for the visitors, including Friday's 34-6 victory, and the Hall County, GA school is 4-0 in Region 8-AAAAA play.
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
Let's welcome to the team Gainesville safety Weber Lint.
Weber Lint would've been Owen Lift's friend in Throw Momma From The Train if Owen's momma let him have any friends.
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