September 28 at Lambeau Field in Green Bay, WI
ESPN
We've got a few things to get to after this one - a 38-28 Green Bay win - so let's get a short list together.
1. I don't need to hear everything Aaron Rodgers says on every single Green Bay offensive snap.
"319 hut", great, I got it. He says that a lot. Turn the microphones off, please. I didn't hear a single word said by Chiefs' quarterback Alex Smith and it was wonderful.
Of course, that could also mean something is wrong with Alex Smith.
2. This Rodgers has a chip on his shoulder because of where he was drafted thing has got to stop. He's still upset about where he was drafted?! It was 2005 & he's since won two MVP awards & a Super Bowl MVP! We're still talking about the draft?!
You know what: SHUT UP, ESPN.
3. Finally, let's play What is Jon Gruden Talking About?
* Gruden: "Randall Cobb...I had a great conversation with him on the bus!"
The bus?
And:
"I know statistics are meaningless"
Pardon?
Game 23 - James Madison at SMU
September 26 at Ford Stadium in Dallas, TX
espn3.com
James Madison probably isn't going to beat many good FBS teams, but I have to imagine that every average-to-below-average team (like SMU) has a chance of losing to the Dukes, who are one of the top teams in FCS.
SMU led 45-41 after consecutive touchdown runs by quarterback Matt Davis. JMU, which finished with a ridiculous 729 total yards of offense, responded with a 17-yard touchdown pass from Vad Lee to John Miller for the winning points in a 48-45 victory.
* Midway through the fourth quarter, color commentator Stan Lewter said "we are watching two of the best quarterbacks in the country."
Look, Davis and Lee are good quarterbacks and both had really nice nights (Lee ran for 276 yards, Davis had 357 yards of total offense). But, Stan, you aren't in your living room with a can of Busch, you're on television with a can of Busch and there's a microphone in front of your face.
* Some more Lewter:
"Key third down here."
Every single third down is key.
"You can't talk enough about the James Madison offensive line."
Yes you can.
espn3.com
James Madison probably isn't going to beat many good FBS teams, but I have to imagine that every average-to-below-average team (like SMU) has a chance of losing to the Dukes, who are one of the top teams in FCS.
SMU led 45-41 after consecutive touchdown runs by quarterback Matt Davis. JMU, which finished with a ridiculous 729 total yards of offense, responded with a 17-yard touchdown pass from Vad Lee to John Miller for the winning points in a 48-45 victory.
* Midway through the fourth quarter, color commentator Stan Lewter said "we are watching two of the best quarterbacks in the country."
Look, Davis and Lee are good quarterbacks and both had really nice nights (Lee ran for 276 yards, Davis had 357 yards of total offense). But, Stan, you aren't in your living room with a can of Busch, you're on television with a can of Busch and there's a microphone in front of your face.
* Some more Lewter:
"Key third down here."
Every single third down is key.
"You can't talk enough about the James Madison offensive line."
Yes you can.
Game 22 - Southern Mississippi at Nebraska
September 26 at Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, NE
ESPN
I wanted to start with something color commentator Rocky Boiman said about a Nebraska player:
"He's really starting to grow from being such a young guy."
Rocky!
Boiman also mentioned twice how he's expecting there to be Andy Janovich t-shirts available on Nebraska's campus next week, so let's keep our eyes open for that.
* Southern Miss had lost its last two times in Lincoln by a combined score of 105-33, so to only lose 36-28 on Saturday was certainly a triumph.
The Golden Eagles got the benefit of a questionable pass interference call to get within that final, eight-point margin with about seven minutes to play. But Nebraska hung on to move to 2-2.
The passing game was really the only thing that went well for the visitors, and it went really well because Nick Mullens threw for 447 yards & two TD and Nebraska's secondary was horrendous the entire game.
Let's get to some Football Phrases
"Running back by committee" (said twice)
"12th man"
"Shakin' and bakin'"
"Rugby-style kick" (4)
"Trickeration"
"Goose egg"
"Vanilla defense" (2)
"Tip drill" (2)
"Cat and mouse game"
"Sea of red" (3)
"Tougher sledding"
"4th down and manageable" (2)
"Smelling blood in the water"
"Red zone" (7)
"Set up the convoy"
And some player & program-specific phrases
"Ndamukong Suh light"
"Cornhusker Nation"
ESPN
I wanted to start with something color commentator Rocky Boiman said about a Nebraska player:
"He's really starting to grow from being such a young guy."
Rocky!
Boiman also mentioned twice how he's expecting there to be Andy Janovich t-shirts available on Nebraska's campus next week, so let's keep our eyes open for that.
* Southern Miss had lost its last two times in Lincoln by a combined score of 105-33, so to only lose 36-28 on Saturday was certainly a triumph.
The Golden Eagles got the benefit of a questionable pass interference call to get within that final, eight-point margin with about seven minutes to play. But Nebraska hung on to move to 2-2.
The passing game was really the only thing that went well for the visitors, and it went really well because Nick Mullens threw for 447 yards & two TD and Nebraska's secondary was horrendous the entire game.
Let's get to some Football Phrases
"Running back by committee" (said twice)
"12th man"
"Shakin' and bakin'"
"Rugby-style kick" (4)
"Trickeration"
"Goose egg"
"Vanilla defense" (2)
"Tip drill" (2)
"Cat and mouse game"
"Sea of red" (3)
"Tougher sledding"
"4th down and manageable" (2)
"Smelling blood in the water"
"Red zone" (7)
"Set up the convoy"
And some player & program-specific phrases
"Ndamukong Suh light"
"Cornhusker Nation"
Game 20 - Cincinnati at Memphis
September 24 at the Liberty Bowl in Memphis, TN
ESPN
Sometimes you watch a game, see a ton of points being scored and think "wow! these offenses are excellent!" Then you have a few Cheetos, take a few steps back and realize "wow! these defenses really stink!"
There were 11 lead changes and the teams combined for over 1,300 yards in Memphis' 53-46 victory. Cincinnati had 752 of the yards, including backup quarterback Hayden Moore throwing for 557.
He was the backup.
Anyway, let's get to some Football Phrases, shall we?
Jesse Palmer never disappoints. Take it, "Jess"
"Working through his progressions"
"Eye candy" (said twice)
"Controlling traffic"
"Hurting you with his feet"
"Shoot out" (2)
"Out-numbered at the point of attack"
"Haymakers"
"All of his arsenal on display"
"Wholesale changes"
"Ebbs and flows"
"That's a bullet, it's coming in hot"
"The teeth of the Cincinnati defense"
"Walk out of the Liberty Bowl with a 'dub'"
"Leave it all out on the field"
"Timeouts in their back pocket"
We'll close with THIS YOUNG MAN:
ESPN
Sometimes you watch a game, see a ton of points being scored and think "wow! these offenses are excellent!" Then you have a few Cheetos, take a few steps back and realize "wow! these defenses really stink!"
There were 11 lead changes and the teams combined for over 1,300 yards in Memphis' 53-46 victory. Cincinnati had 752 of the yards, including backup quarterback Hayden Moore throwing for 557.
He was the backup.
Anyway, let's get to some Football Phrases, shall we?
Jesse Palmer never disappoints. Take it, "Jess"
"Working through his progressions"
"Eye candy" (said twice)
"Controlling traffic"
"Hurting you with his feet"
"Shoot out" (2)
"Out-numbered at the point of attack"
"Haymakers"
"All of his arsenal on display"
"Wholesale changes"
"Ebbs and flows"
"That's a bullet, it's coming in hot"
"The teeth of the Cincinnati defense"
"Walk out of the Liberty Bowl with a 'dub'"
"Leave it all out on the field"
"Timeouts in their back pocket"
We'll close with THIS YOUNG MAN:
Game 19 - Winnipeg Blue Bombers at Montreal Alouettes
September 20 at Molson Stadium in Montreal Canada
TSN
This was my first Canadian League Football game. Sure, I'd seen some Rocket Ismail highlights decades ago, but Sunday was my first start-to-finish CFL game.
It was a little different than the American game, but when it came to interviews with quarterbacks & the announcers it was just the same silliness with a different accent.
* First, let's play Count The Cliches with Montreal QB Jonathan Crompton, who led his team to a 35-14 victory.
"I'm a big believer in adversity (1) brings out your true character (2) and also builds character (3). I think everybody's always faced with adversity (4), but it's about how you handle it (5). We all know at the end of the day (6), we're all here for one goal (7)...do all the things that we're here to do (8)."
* Football Phrases, aye? (sorry, it won't happen again)
"Right into the scrum"
"Pipeline"
"Plow his way for a first down"
"A shot right to the ear hole"
"Zigs and zags"
"Perennial all star"
"Long field"
"Still finding his niche here"
"You want the keys to the car"
"What have you done for me lately"
* And finally, Montreal coach Jim Popp challenged a call in the second quarter and lost. Then we found out Popp is 1-for-7 this year on challenges. Keep up the excellent work, Jim!
TSN
This was my first Canadian League Football game. Sure, I'd seen some Rocket Ismail highlights decades ago, but Sunday was my first start-to-finish CFL game.
It was a little different than the American game, but when it came to interviews with quarterbacks & the announcers it was just the same silliness with a different accent.
* First, let's play Count The Cliches with Montreal QB Jonathan Crompton, who led his team to a 35-14 victory.
"I'm a big believer in adversity (1) brings out your true character (2) and also builds character (3). I think everybody's always faced with adversity (4), but it's about how you handle it (5). We all know at the end of the day (6), we're all here for one goal (7)...do all the things that we're here to do (8)."
* Football Phrases, aye? (sorry, it won't happen again)
"Right into the scrum"
"Pipeline"
"Plow his way for a first down"
"A shot right to the ear hole"
"Zigs and zags"
"Perennial all star"
"Long field"
"Still finding his niche here"
"You want the keys to the car"
"What have you done for me lately"
* And finally, Montreal coach Jim Popp challenged a call in the second quarter and lost. Then we found out Popp is 1-for-7 this year on challenges. Keep up the excellent work, Jim!
Game 18 - Mississippi at Alabama
September 19 at Bryant-Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa, AL
ESPN
Couple quick things from a 43-37 Mississippi victory:
A lot of 'ages' to go through over the course of this football broadcast. Kirk Herbstreit & Chris Fowler, take it a way.
"Soft coverage"/"Sink into coverage"/"Using their eyes to manipulate coverage"
"Short yardage package"
"Leverage on the football"
Some other nonsense from Herbstreit:
"Pinning their ears"
"Rub route"
"Energizer bunny"
"Tackle in space"
"Providing that swagger"
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
Let's all welcome to the team Mississippi wide receiver Damore'ea Stringfellow
ESPN
Couple quick things from a 43-37 Mississippi victory:
A lot of 'ages' to go through over the course of this football broadcast. Kirk Herbstreit & Chris Fowler, take it a way.
"Soft coverage"/"Sink into coverage"/"Using their eyes to manipulate coverage"
"Short yardage package"
"Leverage on the football"
Some other nonsense from Herbstreit:
"Pinning their ears"
"Rub route"
"Energizer bunny"
"Tackle in space"
"Providing that swagger"
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
Let's all welcome to the team Mississippi wide receiver Damore'ea Stringfellow
Game 17 - Western Carolina at Tennessee
September 19 at Neyland Stadium in Knoxville, TN
Before we get to the game, which Tennessee won handily 55-10, I'd like to take this opportunity to say that we have to do something about the graffiti problem in Knoxville.
Anyway, the Vols had no problem with the visitors from Cullowhee, North Carolina (had to look that one up), piling up nearly 450 yards in the lopsided victory.
I covered Tennessee wide receiver Preston Williams when he was at Lovejoy High School (Clayton County, GA), but had honestly forgotten about him until the 6-4 wide out caught the first of two touchdowns.
It was the first collegiate catches for Williams & it was part of a big day for the hosts, who also got a kick off return (Evan Berry) and a punt return (Alvin Kamara) for scores in the same game for the first time since October 28, 1950.
I remember that win over Washington & Lee like it was 64 years and 356 days ago.
Before we get to the game, which Tennessee won handily 55-10, I'd like to take this opportunity to say that we have to do something about the graffiti problem in Knoxville.
Anyway, the Vols had no problem with the visitors from Cullowhee, North Carolina (had to look that one up), piling up nearly 450 yards in the lopsided victory.
I covered Tennessee wide receiver Preston Williams when he was at Lovejoy High School (Clayton County, GA), but had honestly forgotten about him until the 6-4 wide out caught the first of two touchdowns.
It was the first collegiate catches for Williams & it was part of a big day for the hosts, who also got a kick off return (Evan Berry) and a punt return (Alvin Kamara) for scores in the same game for the first time since October 28, 1950.
I remember that win over Washington & Lee like it was 64 years and 356 days ago.
Game 16 - Tulsa at Oklahoma
September 19 at Memorial Stadium in Norman, OK
Fox 1
Oklahoma quarterback Baker Mayfield seemed to total about 7,000 yards in this one, a 52-38 Sooners's victory. It turned out Mayfield only threw for 487 and four TD (and ran for 85 and another two scores), setting a school record with 572 yards.
Tulsa's Dane Evans passed for 427 yards and four TD himself as the Golden Hurricane trailed just 31-24 at the half, but Tulsa won Worst Defense.
* Color commentator Spencer Tillman had a few things to say. Here's his top 7:
7. "The teeth of that stunt"
6. "Take the ball out of his belly"
5. "Wait for the cavalry"
4. "Finds real estate, it's all about location, location, location"
3. "The glue of the defense"
2. "What you call a banjo coverage"
1. "When one of your strings break you can still make music"
Fox 1
Oklahoma quarterback Baker Mayfield seemed to total about 7,000 yards in this one, a 52-38 Sooners's victory. It turned out Mayfield only threw for 487 and four TD (and ran for 85 and another two scores), setting a school record with 572 yards.
Tulsa's Dane Evans passed for 427 yards and four TD himself as the Golden Hurricane trailed just 31-24 at the half, but Tulsa won Worst Defense.
* Color commentator Spencer Tillman had a few things to say. Here's his top 7:
7. "The teeth of that stunt"
6. "Take the ball out of his belly"
5. "Wait for the cavalry"
4. "Finds real estate, it's all about location, location, location"
3. "The glue of the defense"
2. "What you call a banjo coverage"
1. "When one of your strings break you can still make music"
Game 14 - Clemson at Louisville
September 17 at Papa Johns Stadium in Louisville, KY
ESPN
Well, it wasn't the prettiest ACC opener, but while Clemson survived on the road 20-17 to move to 3-0, Louisville is 0-3 for the first time since 1984.
The Cardinals are struggling, and though next week's game against Samford should be win No. 1, a potentially tough game at N.C. State is followed by another road game at defending conference champion Florida State. Louisville could be staring at a 1-5/0-3 ACC start.
But enough of that, let's take a look at some of the ridiculous things Jesse Palmer and David Pollack said!
Palmer
"Launching pad game"
"Ball security"
"Dependable workhorse back" (why did football people invent the term "workhorse" if they were just going to add a second word that is very similar to workhorse?)
"Extra curricular activity"
"Let him be the hammer"
"Situational football" (EVERYTHING is a situation)
Pollack
"Your defense has been salty all night"
"Household name"
"Ball hawk"
"Locating the football with his eyes" (instead of the usual strategy, ears)
ESPN
Well, it wasn't the prettiest ACC opener, but while Clemson survived on the road 20-17 to move to 3-0, Louisville is 0-3 for the first time since 1984.
The Cardinals are struggling, and though next week's game against Samford should be win No. 1, a potentially tough game at N.C. State is followed by another road game at defending conference champion Florida State. Louisville could be staring at a 1-5/0-3 ACC start.
But enough of that, let's take a look at some of the ridiculous things Jesse Palmer and David Pollack said!
Palmer
"Launching pad game"
"Ball security"
"Dependable workhorse back" (why did football people invent the term "workhorse" if they were just going to add a second word that is very similar to workhorse?)
"Extra curricular activity"
"Let him be the hammer"
"Situational football" (EVERYTHING is a situation)
Pollack
"Your defense has been salty all night"
"Household name"
"Ball hawk"
"Locating the football with his eyes" (instead of the usual strategy, ears)
Game 13 - Minnesota Vikings at San Francisco 49ers
September 14 at Levi's Stadium in Santa Clara, CA
ESPN
This was my first time listening to Trent Dilfer speak and it simply has to be the last. I can't take another forty seconds of this person talking, let alone three hours.
Dilfer spewed so much nonsense over the course of this 20-3 49ers win that A) I forgot at times that CHRIS BERMAN was also in the broadcast booth and B) I actually had to grab a second pen. MY FIRST PEN RAN OUT OF INK.
We'll call this one The Dilfer Game.
* Dilfer certainly seems to think Colin Kaepernick is going to improve quite a bit as a quarterback this season. First, he talked about how the 49ers worked with Kaepernick's release point, though he doesn't call it a "release point", he calls it a LAUNCH POINT. How do I know he calls it that? Because he said it seven times.
"Change the launch point"
"Again, change the launch point!"
"Change Kaepernick's launch point"
"Moved the launch point for Colin Kaepernick"
Things got weirder. Dilfer referred to Kaepernick as a Ferrari and that San Francisco is "going to let the Ferrari run like a Ferrari, not like a Prius." (said three times). Of course Berman thought that was hilarious.
And also: "That's a big boy throw!"
* Two of the odder moments for Dilfer occurred when he said all anyone cares about is yards (or "fantasy stats"):
1. "In the NFL, it's all about yards and fantasy stats! (But) the 49ers have to be about finish!"
So, in fantasy you get points each time a player gains a certain number of yards, but that's just for the fantasy nerds! Nerds!! Scoring is what matters.....even though in fantasy you get points for that as well.
And hang on just a second, TRENT: YARDS DON'T MATTER?! What the hell are you talking about?!
2. The Vikings' offense was pretty awful on Monday - three points, 248 total yards - not exactly a difficult test. But SF's defensive performance was plenty for Dilfer, even though nine minutes still remained in the first game of the season when he screamed "anybody who thought the '9ers defense was dead you were wrong!"
* Carlos Hyde was outstanding all night - 168 rushing yards and two touchdowns. To Dilfer, Hyde isn't just the lead running back, he's the BELL COW ON OFFENSE (said six times).
Then: "Welcome NFL to Carlos Hyde."
* First quarter, SF had a third down at the Minnesota 16.
Dilfer: "don't turn the ball over."
Thanks, Trent!
Other Football/Nonsense Phrases
"Slobberknocker"
"Third and manageable" (2)
"Third and impossible"
"Holy toledo"
"Ghost action"
"Juiced up"
"Remedial plays"
"Downhill profile"/"Passing profile"
"Pocket mechanics"
"Passing posture"
"Physicality" (2)
"Soft edge"
"War room"
"Tough sledding"
"Dink and dunk"
"Change the landscape"
"We're talking fire breathers"
Chris Berman
Just because Trent Dilfer is insufferable, doesn't mean Chris Berman isn't also completely insufferable. Berman took a back seat on Monday (his first back seat since May, 1962 - family trip to Yosemite National Park. Since, he only sits in the FRONT SEAT), but he still had a few things to say.
* Late in the game, Berman did the announcer thing and went through all the time zones to say hello - "if you're watching on the east coast, good morning," etc. Then he said this: "of course, if you're watching in Hawaii, happy dinner."
* He referred to Levi's Stadium as "The Big Bell Bottom" on three occasions, because Chris Berman is contractually obligated to have everyone hate him.
And finally, Dilfer referred to Berman as "Boom" 21 times.
That seems like a perfect place to wrap things up.
ESPN
This was my first time listening to Trent Dilfer speak and it simply has to be the last. I can't take another forty seconds of this person talking, let alone three hours.
Dilfer spewed so much nonsense over the course of this 20-3 49ers win that A) I forgot at times that CHRIS BERMAN was also in the broadcast booth and B) I actually had to grab a second pen. MY FIRST PEN RAN OUT OF INK.
We'll call this one The Dilfer Game.
* Dilfer certainly seems to think Colin Kaepernick is going to improve quite a bit as a quarterback this season. First, he talked about how the 49ers worked with Kaepernick's release point, though he doesn't call it a "release point", he calls it a LAUNCH POINT. How do I know he calls it that? Because he said it seven times.
"Change the launch point"
"Again, change the launch point!"
"Change Kaepernick's launch point"
"Moved the launch point for Colin Kaepernick"
Things got weirder. Dilfer referred to Kaepernick as a Ferrari and that San Francisco is "going to let the Ferrari run like a Ferrari, not like a Prius." (said three times). Of course Berman thought that was hilarious.
And also: "That's a big boy throw!"
* Two of the odder moments for Dilfer occurred when he said all anyone cares about is yards (or "fantasy stats"):
1. "In the NFL, it's all about yards and fantasy stats! (But) the 49ers have to be about finish!"
So, in fantasy you get points each time a player gains a certain number of yards, but that's just for the fantasy nerds! Nerds!! Scoring is what matters.....even though in fantasy you get points for that as well.
And hang on just a second, TRENT: YARDS DON'T MATTER?! What the hell are you talking about?!
2. The Vikings' offense was pretty awful on Monday - three points, 248 total yards - not exactly a difficult test. But SF's defensive performance was plenty for Dilfer, even though nine minutes still remained in the first game of the season when he screamed "anybody who thought the '9ers defense was dead you were wrong!"
* Carlos Hyde was outstanding all night - 168 rushing yards and two touchdowns. To Dilfer, Hyde isn't just the lead running back, he's the BELL COW ON OFFENSE (said six times).
Then: "Welcome NFL to Carlos Hyde."
* First quarter, SF had a third down at the Minnesota 16.
Dilfer: "don't turn the ball over."
Thanks, Trent!
Other Football/Nonsense Phrases
"Slobberknocker"
"Third and manageable" (2)
"Third and impossible"
"Holy toledo"
"Ghost action"
"Juiced up"
"Remedial plays"
"Downhill profile"/"Passing profile"
"Pocket mechanics"
"Passing posture"
"Physicality" (2)
"Soft edge"
"War room"
"Tough sledding"
"Dink and dunk"
"Change the landscape"
"We're talking fire breathers"
Chris Berman
Just because Trent Dilfer is insufferable, doesn't mean Chris Berman isn't also completely insufferable. Berman took a back seat on Monday (his first back seat since May, 1962 - family trip to Yosemite National Park. Since, he only sits in the FRONT SEAT), but he still had a few things to say.
* Late in the game, Berman did the announcer thing and went through all the time zones to say hello - "if you're watching on the east coast, good morning," etc. Then he said this: "of course, if you're watching in Hawaii, happy dinner."
* He referred to Levi's Stadium as "The Big Bell Bottom" on three occasions, because Chris Berman is contractually obligated to have everyone hate him.
And finally, Dilfer referred to Berman as "Boom" 21 times.
That seems like a perfect place to wrap things up.
Game 12 - New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys
September 13 at AT&T Stadium in Dallas, TX
NBC
With seven seconds left, Tony Romo dropped a somewhat low snap, recovered quickly and threw a touchdown to Jason Witten for the game-winner in a 27-26 Dallas victory.
It was Witten's second TD during a nice come back for the Cowboys, who trailed 23-13 in the fourth.
I had originally typed Tono Romo. But I like Tono Romy even better.
As far as this site is concerned, he's Tono Romy.
Al & Chris
I spend a majority of my time on this site and at 300gameseason.blogspot.com picking on announcers. Despite being pleasant to listen to, Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth don't get off easy.
Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie was hurt and being attended to on the field late in the first quarter.
Here's Michaels:
"That's one of the guys they can most afford not to lose."
And some regular Football Phrases from both:
"On the steps of Canton"
"The ultimate security blanket"
"Out-muscle somebody"
"Skill sets"
"Yeoman work"
"Gang tackled"
"The other side of the two-minute warning"
"Leave him on an island"
"They preach hustle"
NBC
With seven seconds left, Tony Romo dropped a somewhat low snap, recovered quickly and threw a touchdown to Jason Witten for the game-winner in a 27-26 Dallas victory.
It was Witten's second TD during a nice come back for the Cowboys, who trailed 23-13 in the fourth.
I had originally typed Tono Romo. But I like Tono Romy even better.
As far as this site is concerned, he's Tono Romy.
Al & Chris
I spend a majority of my time on this site and at 300gameseason.blogspot.com picking on announcers. Despite being pleasant to listen to, Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth don't get off easy.
Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie was hurt and being attended to on the field late in the first quarter.
Here's Michaels:
"That's one of the guys they can most afford not to lose."
And some regular Football Phrases from both:
"On the steps of Canton"
"The ultimate security blanket"
"Out-muscle somebody"
"Skill sets"
"Yeoman work"
"Gang tackled"
"The other side of the two-minute warning"
"Leave him on an island"
"They preach hustle"
Game 10 - Tulane at Georgia Tech
September 12 at Bobby Dodd Stadium in Atlanta, GA
Fox Sports South
Tulane's defense: yikes.
No. 15 Georgia Tech rolled up 571 yards in a 65-10 win, which turned out to be Tulane's worst loss since a 63-10 thumping against Louisiana-Monroe in September, 2012.
I might use "thumping" a few more times this season.
Fox interviewed former Tech quarterback Joe Hamilton during the fourth quarter and Joseph said "he's in the fox hole with them". He wasn't going to get away with that.
Fox Sports South
Tulane's defense: yikes.
No. 15 Georgia Tech rolled up 571 yards in a 65-10 win, which turned out to be Tulane's worst loss since a 63-10 thumping against Louisiana-Monroe in September, 2012.
I might use "thumping" a few more times this season.
Fox interviewed former Tech quarterback Joe Hamilton during the fourth quarter and Joseph said "he's in the fox hole with them". He wasn't going to get away with that.
Game 9 - South Florida at Florida State
September 12 at Doak Campbell Stadium in Tallahassee, FL
ESPN
South Florida was in a great position to pull the huge upset, going into the halftime locker room tied at 7-7 with the No. 11 Seminoles. Unfortunately the Bulls had to play another half and Dalvin Cook scored from 24 yards on the fourth play of the third quarter, helping FSU pull away in a 34-14 victory.
Cook had a huge day - 266 yards and averaged nine per carry - so he's a "player of the game", according to cbssports.com. South Florida's D'Ernest Johnson had 89 receiving yards and the team's two touchdowns, but cbs isn't interested in that.
Faceless D'Ernest Johnson the running back? Player of the game.
Football Phrases
Good day of silliness for Bob Wischusen & Brock Huard.
"Weather the storm"
"Difference makers on the D-line"
"Gang tackling"
"Sluggish start"
"Bubble screen"
"A man possessed"
"Stay in character"/"High-character guys"
"Horizontal stuff"
"Route run"
"Too much mustard"
"He's a young pup"
"Plus territory"
"You've got to put it in his belly"
"Eyebrow-raising score"
"Old school"
"Flipping field position"
"That's in his DNA"
"Bull rush"
"Exotic blitz"
"They're going to get a tongue lashing"
"Win the line of scrimmage"
"Use his physical gifts"
"That land shark identity"
"Tasted no adversity"
"Sparty"
ESPN
South Florida was in a great position to pull the huge upset, going into the halftime locker room tied at 7-7 with the No. 11 Seminoles. Unfortunately the Bulls had to play another half and Dalvin Cook scored from 24 yards on the fourth play of the third quarter, helping FSU pull away in a 34-14 victory.
Cook had a huge day - 266 yards and averaged nine per carry - so he's a "player of the game", according to cbssports.com. South Florida's D'Ernest Johnson had 89 receiving yards and the team's two touchdowns, but cbs isn't interested in that.
Faceless D'Ernest Johnson the running back? Player of the game.
Football Phrases
Good day of silliness for Bob Wischusen & Brock Huard.
"Weather the storm"
"Difference makers on the D-line"
"Gang tackling"
"Sluggish start"
"Bubble screen"
"A man possessed"
"Stay in character"/"High-character guys"
"Horizontal stuff"
"Route run"
"Too much mustard"
"He's a young pup"
"Plus territory"
"You've got to put it in his belly"
"Eyebrow-raising score"
"Old school"
"Flipping field position"
"That's in his DNA"
"Bull rush"
"Exotic blitz"
"They're going to get a tongue lashing"
"Win the line of scrimmage"
"Use his physical gifts"
"That land shark identity"
"Tasted no adversity"
"Sparty"
Game 7 - Pittsburgh Steelers at New England Patriots
September 10 at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, MA
NBC
It was last November when I first discovered Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth's love of referring to Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger as "Ben".
Al & Chris were back on Thursday in the NFL season opener, won by the Patriots 28-21.
Let's take a look at Thursday's Ben count:
First half
Collinsworth: said twice
Michaels: 9
Second half
CC: 9
AM: 9
Total Bens: 29
Bens/half: 14.5
Notable Bens
"Ben buys time"
"Ben throws too high"
"Take a look at Ben through his career"
"Obviously Ben was thinking right shoulder"
"Good pocket for Ben"
"Ben's gonna throw"
"Ben under pressure"
"Ben limping"
"Ben basically threw it out of bounds"
"Not sure Ben couldn't have just run that into the end zone"
"Ben really had nothing"
"Ben's taken advantage of them a little bit"
"There goes Ben, escaping"
"It was really fun to watch the Patriots practice what Ben does"
"Ben just finding anybody"
* Also, at one point Collinsworth & Michaels were talking about New England defensive coordinator Matt Patricia, and specifically that he had a pencil behind his ear.
Michaels: "And there's the pencil behind his ear. Like Belichick."
Collinsworth: "Some things you have to do if you coach here."
What are those things?
Use a pencil?
Put a pencil behind your ear?
NBC
It was last November when I first discovered Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth's love of referring to Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger as "Ben".
Al & Chris were back on Thursday in the NFL season opener, won by the Patriots 28-21.
Let's take a look at Thursday's Ben count:
First half
Collinsworth: said twice
Michaels: 9
Second half
CC: 9
AM: 9
Total Bens: 29
Bens/half: 14.5
Notable Bens
"Ben buys time"
"Ben throws too high"
"Take a look at Ben through his career"
"Obviously Ben was thinking right shoulder"
"Good pocket for Ben"
"Ben's gonna throw"
"Ben under pressure"
"Ben limping"
"Ben basically threw it out of bounds"
"Not sure Ben couldn't have just run that into the end zone"
"Ben really had nothing"
"Ben's taken advantage of them a little bit"
"There goes Ben, escaping"
"It was really fun to watch the Patriots practice what Ben does"
"Ben just finding anybody"
* Also, at one point Collinsworth & Michaels were talking about New England defensive coordinator Matt Patricia, and specifically that he had a pencil behind his ear.
Michaels: "And there's the pencil behind his ear. Like Belichick."
Collinsworth: "Some things you have to do if you coach here."
What are those things?
Use a pencil?
Put a pencil behind your ear?
Game 6 - Ohio State at Virginia Tech
September 7 at Lane Stadium in Blacksburg, VA
ESPN
Virginia Tech trailed 14-0 early and led 17-14 at halftime, but the second half belonged to the defending national champions.
Ohio State racked up 546 total yards and scored 28 unanswered points to pull away from the Hokies in a 42-24 victory.
Part of that four-touchdown spurt was the outstanding play of Braxton Miller. The OSU receiver caught a 54-yard touchdown from Cardale Jones on the first series of the second half, then made a ridiculous spin move as part of a 53-yard scoring catch that put the Buckeyes up 28-17. Just before that, VT's J.C. Coleman fumbled to set up OSU in great field position.
What else do we know about Coleman? Not much, just that he WEARS A WRIST WATCH DURING GAMES.
Few questions:
1. Why would Coleman need to know the TIME OF DAY/NIGHT while playing a football game?
2. Why is the watch so big?
3. Is the watch part of the wristband? Because that would clear a few things up.
4. Is this guy serious?
5. A watch?!
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
Let me introduce the newest member of the All Star team, OSU cornerback Eli Apple.
Football Phrases
Kirk Herbstreit is a solid commentator, but he's got a football phrase rolodex that measures up with any announcer in the business.
Kirk?
"High risk high reward"
"Laser focus"
"They're not resting on their laurels"
"Swagger"
"It's in his DNA"
"Bend but don't break defense"
"The teeth of this defense"
"In the trenches"
"They want to shoot gaps"
"Ball skills"
"Live by the sword, die by the sword"
"A bread and butter play"
"Minister of defense"
"Blue collar approach"
"Chess match"
"Backyard football"
"Pick six"
"Game reps"
"Meaningful snaps"
And let's not make the mistake of forgetting the night put together by play-by-play man Chris Fowler:
"Lighting strikes"
"Nothing but green grass in front of him"
"Hokie lunchpail"
"Wear and tear"
"Wheel route"
"Tough little customer"
"Change of pace guy"
"Move the chains"
"Escapability"
"Sack parade"
"Workmanlike"
And....
"He's a football player"
Well, thank goodness for that. Thanks, Chris!
ESPN
Virginia Tech trailed 14-0 early and led 17-14 at halftime, but the second half belonged to the defending national champions.
Ohio State racked up 546 total yards and scored 28 unanswered points to pull away from the Hokies in a 42-24 victory.
Part of that four-touchdown spurt was the outstanding play of Braxton Miller. The OSU receiver caught a 54-yard touchdown from Cardale Jones on the first series of the second half, then made a ridiculous spin move as part of a 53-yard scoring catch that put the Buckeyes up 28-17. Just before that, VT's J.C. Coleman fumbled to set up OSU in great field position.
What else do we know about Coleman? Not much, just that he WEARS A WRIST WATCH DURING GAMES.
Few questions:
1. Why would Coleman need to know the TIME OF DAY/NIGHT while playing a football game?
2. Why is the watch so big?
3. Is the watch part of the wristband? Because that would clear a few things up.
4. Is this guy serious?
5. A watch?!
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
Let me introduce the newest member of the All Star team, OSU cornerback Eli Apple.
Football Phrases
Kirk Herbstreit is a solid commentator, but he's got a football phrase rolodex that measures up with any announcer in the business.
Kirk?
"High risk high reward"
"Laser focus"
"They're not resting on their laurels"
"Swagger"
"It's in his DNA"
"Bend but don't break defense"
"The teeth of this defense"
"In the trenches"
"They want to shoot gaps"
"Ball skills"
"Live by the sword, die by the sword"
"A bread and butter play"
"Minister of defense"
"Blue collar approach"
"Chess match"
"Backyard football"
"Pick six"
"Game reps"
"Meaningful snaps"
And let's not make the mistake of forgetting the night put together by play-by-play man Chris Fowler:
"Lighting strikes"
"Nothing but green grass in front of him"
"Hokie lunchpail"
"Wear and tear"
"Wheel route"
"Tough little customer"
"Change of pace guy"
"Move the chains"
"Escapability"
"Sack parade"
"Workmanlike"
And....
"He's a football player"
Well, thank goodness for that. Thanks, Chris!
Game 4 - TCU at Minnesota
September 3 at TCF Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, MN
ESPN
Trevone Boykin is a Heisman Trophy candidate and the Horn Frogs needed every bit of his 338 all-purpose yards and two touchdowns to hang on, 23-17.
Minnesota got a Mitch Leidner-to-KJ Maye touchdown with about a minute and a half left to get within six points, then had one final shot to tie/win the game, but could only get to its own 27 as time expired.
* Football Phrases
"A program on the rise"
"Keep the chains moving"
"All the players bought in"
"3rd and medium"
"The game is not too big for him"
"Flip the field"
* Throughout the season we'll be building the 100 Game Season all-name team, which we'll call, thanks to our first team member, the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars.
Ekpe, Minnesota's defensive end, has also been named team captain.
ESPN
Trevone Boykin is a Heisman Trophy candidate and the Horn Frogs needed every bit of his 338 all-purpose yards and two touchdowns to hang on, 23-17.
Minnesota got a Mitch Leidner-to-KJ Maye touchdown with about a minute and a half left to get within six points, then had one final shot to tie/win the game, but could only get to its own 27 as time expired.
* Football Phrases
"A program on the rise"
"Keep the chains moving"
"All the players bought in"
"3rd and medium"
"The game is not too big for him"
"Flip the field"
* Throughout the season we'll be building the 100 Game Season all-name team, which we'll call, thanks to our first team member, the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars.
Ekpe, Minnesota's defensive end, has also been named team captain.
Game 3 - Alcorn State at Georgia Tech
September 3 at Bobby Dodd Stadium in Atlanta, GA
ACC Network
The college football season has begun, so that means we get right to broadcaster nonsense. The kick off shouldn't be the opening to a football game; it should just be some nuntz in the booth yelling about pocket presence and there we go: game starts.
This list is going to get ridiculously long over the coming weeks, but Tom Werme & James Bates sure got us off to a nice start on opening night.
Gentleman?
"Dual threat quarterback"
"Identity crisis"
"Reps"
"Big, bad bruiser"
"He's special"
"Next level"
"Under his own power"
"Stopped stone cold"
"Maintain your gap control"
"The young man's got to hold on to the rock"
"That was a rhythm play"
"Toting the rock"
"Adversity strikes"
"Tough as nails"
And a couple Special Moments:
"Came in...hungry for some Alcorn State offensive blood"
and
"Welcome to Atlanta where the players play"
ACC Network
The college football season has begun, so that means we get right to broadcaster nonsense. The kick off shouldn't be the opening to a football game; it should just be some nuntz in the booth yelling about pocket presence and there we go: game starts.
This list is going to get ridiculously long over the coming weeks, but Tom Werme & James Bates sure got us off to a nice start on opening night.
Gentleman?
"Dual threat quarterback"
"Identity crisis"
"Reps"
"Big, bad bruiser"
"He's special"
"Next level"
"Under his own power"
"Stopped stone cold"
"Maintain your gap control"
"The young man's got to hold on to the rock"
"That was a rhythm play"
"Toting the rock"
"Adversity strikes"
"Tough as nails"
And a couple Special Moments:
"Came in...hungry for some Alcorn State offensive blood"
and
"Welcome to Atlanta where the players play"
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