97 - Clemson vs. Oklahoma (Orange Bowl) @ Sun Life Stadium in Miami Gardens, FL
98 - Michigan State vs. Alabama (Cotton Bowl) @ AT&T Stadium in Dallas, TX
December 31
Game 96 - Auburn vs. Memphis
Birmingham Bowl
December 30 at Legion Field in Birmingham, AL
ESPN
Memphis had pulled even at 10-10 late in the first half, yet never scored again as Auburn won 31-10.
It was an excellent day on the defensive side of the ball for Auburn, which held Memphis quarterback Paxton Lynch to a 16-for-37, 108 passing yard and one-interception night. Lynch had a 69% completion percentage and a 28-to-3 touchdown-to-INT ratio coming into the game.
This was my first, and I suppose last time seeing Auburn in 2015, but apparently Jeremy Johnson lost his starting job at quarterback at some point in the season.
Sean White wasn't very good at all on Wednesday and Johnson came on in relief and was the difference offensively.
The junior threw an 11-yard touchdown pass to Jason Smith late in the third quarter that gave Auburn the lead for good at 17-10, then on the first play of the fourth, scored on a five-yard run and that pretty much put the game away.
Memphis had 205 total yards & its best second-half drive ended in Lynch's third quarter interception.
In fact, other than an interception return for a touchdown and another pick leading to a field goal, both in the second quarter, Memphis' other 10 possessions ended in:
1 missed FG
1 INT
6 punts
2 turnovers on downs
* Also, commentator Anthony Becht said some things:
- A second quarter pass by Lynch went incomplete and Becht said "two referee eyes were watching". I'm pretty sure he meant two referees were watching (four eyes), but it's much funnier to think of it the first way.
- If Lynch forgoes his senior season and enters the NFL Draft, he's expected to be one of the first handful of quarterbacks taken. But some scouts are unsure if he's capable of making NFL throws.
I'm not sure how those throws will be any different than the ones he's had to make in college other than they'll be made in places like Jacksonville and Buffalo instead of Greenville, North Carolina.
Anyway, Becht said "NFL throws" five times and "NFL-type throws" once.
And when talking about Lynch, Becht also said "I'll put my GM cap on" twice, so he wasn't going to get away with that.
December 30 at Legion Field in Birmingham, AL
ESPN
Memphis had pulled even at 10-10 late in the first half, yet never scored again as Auburn won 31-10.
It was an excellent day on the defensive side of the ball for Auburn, which held Memphis quarterback Paxton Lynch to a 16-for-37, 108 passing yard and one-interception night. Lynch had a 69% completion percentage and a 28-to-3 touchdown-to-INT ratio coming into the game.
This was my first, and I suppose last time seeing Auburn in 2015, but apparently Jeremy Johnson lost his starting job at quarterback at some point in the season.
Sean White wasn't very good at all on Wednesday and Johnson came on in relief and was the difference offensively.
The junior threw an 11-yard touchdown pass to Jason Smith late in the third quarter that gave Auburn the lead for good at 17-10, then on the first play of the fourth, scored on a five-yard run and that pretty much put the game away.
Memphis had 205 total yards & its best second-half drive ended in Lynch's third quarter interception.
In fact, other than an interception return for a touchdown and another pick leading to a field goal, both in the second quarter, Memphis' other 10 possessions ended in:
1 missed FG
1 INT
6 punts
2 turnovers on downs
* Also, commentator Anthony Becht said some things:
- A second quarter pass by Lynch went incomplete and Becht said "two referee eyes were watching". I'm pretty sure he meant two referees were watching (four eyes), but it's much funnier to think of it the first way.
- If Lynch forgoes his senior season and enters the NFL Draft, he's expected to be one of the first handful of quarterbacks taken. But some scouts are unsure if he's capable of making NFL throws.
I'm not sure how those throws will be any different than the ones he's had to make in college other than they'll be made in places like Jacksonville and Buffalo instead of Greenville, North Carolina.
Anyway, Becht said "NFL throws" five times and "NFL-type throws" once.
And when talking about Lynch, Becht also said "I'll put my GM cap on" twice, so he wasn't going to get away with that.
Game 95 - Cincinnati Bengals at Denver Broncos
December 28 at Sports Authority Field in Denver, CO
ESPN
Have a few things to get to from this 20-17 overtime victory for Denver, so we'll take them in list form.
1. Don't refer to Brock Osweiler playing behind Peyton Manning, or any other backup in any other sports situation, as an "apprenticeship". This isn't A Christmas Carol.
2. Jon Gruden, 2nd quarter: "This is a real NFL linebacker."
Well thank goodness for that.
3. Gruden again: "How many ex-Jagwires are playing for other teams?"
The answer is zero, because there's no such thing as a Jagwire.
4. "He's so athletic" was said, as it is often said in various forms.
HERE'S THE THING: every single person on this field, and every single professional person on every field, is athletic.
The End.
5. 3rd quarter, Mike Tirico said "pin your ear back", then quickly corrected himself and said "pin your ears back".
6. Let's get one last Gruden in, shall we?
[Before Denver field goal attempt in overtime] "This is a big one, Mike."
Thanks Jon!
ESPN
Have a few things to get to from this 20-17 overtime victory for Denver, so we'll take them in list form.
1. Don't refer to Brock Osweiler playing behind Peyton Manning, or any other backup in any other sports situation, as an "apprenticeship". This isn't A Christmas Carol.
2. Jon Gruden, 2nd quarter: "This is a real NFL linebacker."
Well thank goodness for that.
3. Gruden again: "How many ex-Jagwires are playing for other teams?"
The answer is zero, because there's no such thing as a Jagwire.
4. "He's so athletic" was said, as it is often said in various forms.
HERE'S THE THING: every single person on this field, and every single professional person on every field, is athletic.
The End.
5. 3rd quarter, Mike Tirico said "pin your ear back", then quickly corrected himself and said "pin your ears back".
6. Let's get one last Gruden in, shall we?
[Before Denver field goal attempt in overtime] "This is a big one, Mike."
Thanks Jon!
Game 94 - New York Giants at Minnesota Vikings
December 27 at TCF Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, MN
NBC
FOOTBALL announcers say the word FOOTBALL a lot. It's a ball, just like any other sport that uses a ball, but unlike other sports' broadcasters these guys love adding FOOT.
Let's take a look at the FOOTBALL count for Chris Collinsworth & Al Michaels:
Total times said
1st half: 17
Collinsworth - 13
Michaels - 4
2nd half: 9
Collinsworth - 5
Michaels - 3
And Sideline reporter Michelle Tafoya added:
"Serious football person."
Total times said: 26
NBC
FOOTBALL announcers say the word FOOTBALL a lot. It's a ball, just like any other sport that uses a ball, but unlike other sports' broadcasters these guys love adding FOOT.
Let's take a look at the FOOTBALL count for Chris Collinsworth & Al Michaels:
Total times said
1st half: 17
Collinsworth - 13
Michaels - 4
2nd half: 9
Collinsworth - 5
Michaels - 3
And Sideline reporter Michelle Tafoya added:
"Serious football person."
Total times said: 26
Game 92 - Tulsa vs. Virginia Tech
Independence Bowl
December 26 at Independence Stadium in Shreveport, LA
ESPN
This was the final game in the coaching career of Virginia Tech's Frank Beamer, so there were going to be a few mentions of it and perhaps a couple camera shots of Beamer on the sideline. How many? Well, let's just take a look.
Total shots of Beamer - 80
1st half - 36
2nd half - 44
Top Beamers
"Swan song"
"Twilight"
"He's just done it the right way" (said twice)
"Sending Beamer out with a win"
"Final turn"
"Frank Beamer's storied career"
"Beamer Ball" (7)/"Classic Beamer Ball"
"It would be his final one"/"Frank Beamer's final game"/"Final game" (3)
"Since he made the announcement"
"Frank Beamer gets the spotlight he deserves in his last game"
[sign seen in crowd] "Thank you, coach Beamer"
And we can't forget the countdown:
1. "One quarter left in a Frank Beamer's distinguished career"/"One quarter left in a career"
2. "The fourth quarter of Frank Beamer is about to begin"
3. "The last 11:09 of Frank Beamer's career"
4. "Retirement is probably the farthest thing from Frank Beamer's mind"
5. "Close to the end"
6. "He's hoping to march out of here with a win"
7. "That man, in his final career game"
8. "Frank Beamer's final victory"
* Assorted nonsense
- Dadi Nicolas sacked Tulsa quarterback Dane Evans on fourth down to seal the win for Virginia Tech. Announcer Ray Bentley: "The spirit of Bruce Smith jumped out!"
The spirit?
Bruce Smith has not passed away. In fact, Mr. Bentley, your network just showed him standing on the Virginia Tech sideline.
- Let's welcome a pair of new members to the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars in referee Cooper Castleberry and Tulsa wide receiver Bishop Louie.
- Other silliness from Bentley & play-by-play man Dave Lamont:
"Blue collar work ethic" (said three times)
"Once he gets his man weight, he's gonna be a beast"
"The dirt monster got him"
"Look out! Watch your Chardonnay, buddy!" (pardon me?)
"Sea legs"
"A hat for a hat" (2)
December 26 at Independence Stadium in Shreveport, LA
ESPN
This was the final game in the coaching career of Virginia Tech's Frank Beamer, so there were going to be a few mentions of it and perhaps a couple camera shots of Beamer on the sideline. How many? Well, let's just take a look.
Total shots of Beamer - 80
1st half - 36
2nd half - 44
Top Beamers
"Swan song"
"Twilight"
"He's just done it the right way" (said twice)
"Sending Beamer out with a win"
"Final turn"
"Frank Beamer's storied career"
"Beamer Ball" (7)/"Classic Beamer Ball"
"It would be his final one"/"Frank Beamer's final game"/"Final game" (3)
"Since he made the announcement"
"Frank Beamer gets the spotlight he deserves in his last game"
[sign seen in crowd] "Thank you, coach Beamer"
And we can't forget the countdown:
1. "One quarter left in a Frank Beamer's distinguished career"/"One quarter left in a career"
2. "The fourth quarter of Frank Beamer is about to begin"
3. "The last 11:09 of Frank Beamer's career"
4. "Retirement is probably the farthest thing from Frank Beamer's mind"
5. "Close to the end"
6. "He's hoping to march out of here with a win"
7. "That man, in his final career game"
8. "Frank Beamer's final victory"
* Assorted nonsense
- Dadi Nicolas sacked Tulsa quarterback Dane Evans on fourth down to seal the win for Virginia Tech. Announcer Ray Bentley: "The spirit of Bruce Smith jumped out!"
The spirit?
Bruce Smith has not passed away. In fact, Mr. Bentley, your network just showed him standing on the Virginia Tech sideline.
- Let's welcome a pair of new members to the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars in referee Cooper Castleberry and Tulsa wide receiver Bishop Louie.
- Other silliness from Bentley & play-by-play man Dave Lamont:
"Blue collar work ethic" (said three times)
"Once he gets his man weight, he's gonna be a beast"
"The dirt monster got him"
"Look out! Watch your Chardonnay, buddy!" (pardon me?)
"Sea legs"
"A hat for a hat" (2)
Game 91 - San Diego State vs. Cincinnati
Hawaii Bowl
December 24 at Aloha Stadium in Honolulu, HI
ESPN
December 24 at Aloha Stadium in Honolulu, HI
ESPN
Game 90 - Georgia Southern vs. Bowling Green
Godaddy Bowl
December 23 at Ladd-Peebles Stadium in Mobile, AL
ESPN
December 23 at Ladd-Peebles Stadium in Mobile, AL
ESPN
Game 89 - Northern Illinois vs. Boise State
Poinsettia Bowl
December 23 at Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego, CA
ESPN
Boise State won 55-7, but 'won' isn't enough to describe the Broncos' victory. Here are a few words ESPN & various online media outlets used:
MANHANDLES
CRUSHES
STEAMROLLS
OVERWHELMS
ROMPS OVER
DISMANTLED
HELLACIOUS SPLATTERING
BEATDOWN
DECIMATES
December 23 at Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego, CA
ESPN
Boise State won 55-7, but 'won' isn't enough to describe the Broncos' victory. Here are a few words ESPN & various online media outlets used:
MANHANDLES
CRUSHES
STEAMROLLS
OVERWHELMS
ROMPS OVER
DISMANTLED
HELLACIOUS SPLATTERING
BEATDOWN
DECIMATES
Game 88 - South Florida vs. Western Kentucky
Miami Beach Bowl
December 21 at Marlins Park in Miami, FL
ESPN
I had not known much of anything about Brandon Doughty and Western Kentucky until tonight, but that offense was impressive.
Doughty threw for 461 yards and three touchdowns in the Hilltoppers' 45-35 win.
He finished his final collegiate year with 5,055 yards, just the 14th time a Division 1 quarterback has gone over 5,000. Seems like most of those yards came in the third where the Hilltoppers went from being down 14-10 to taking the lead for good with a 4-TD quarter.
Phrases!
"He may have been playing possum"
"Bubble screen"
"Jet sweep"
"He's like a mack truck going downhill"
"Ground and pound" (said twice)
"Trickeration that paid off"
"Loading the box" (3)
"Razzle dazzle"
"Putting some moves in the blender"
"Progressions"
December 21 at Marlins Park in Miami, FL
ESPN
I had not known much of anything about Brandon Doughty and Western Kentucky until tonight, but that offense was impressive.
Doughty threw for 461 yards and three touchdowns in the Hilltoppers' 45-35 win.
He finished his final collegiate year with 5,055 yards, just the 14th time a Division 1 quarterback has gone over 5,000. Seems like most of those yards came in the third where the Hilltoppers went from being down 14-10 to taking the lead for good with a 4-TD quarter.
Phrases!
"He may have been playing possum"
"Bubble screen"
"Jet sweep"
"He's like a mack truck going downhill"
"Ground and pound" (said twice)
"Trickeration that paid off"
"Loading the box" (3)
"Razzle dazzle"
"Putting some moves in the blender"
"Progressions"
Game 86 - Georgia State vs. San Jose State
Cure Bowl
December 19 at Citrus Bowl in Orlando, FL
CBS Sports Network
December 19 at Citrus Bowl in Orlando, FL
CBS Sports Network
Game 85 - Alcorn State vs. North Carolina A&T
Celebration Bowl
December 19 at Georgia Dome in Atlanta, GA
ESPN
"it's a foot race"
Can football players race on anything else besides feet?
Are bicycles allowed on the field?
At least make it more specific and call it a cleat race.
* We'd like to welcome NC A&T quarterback Lenorris Footman to the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars. He was missed and will be missed when we inevitably lose him in free agency to another all-name team.
December 19 at Georgia Dome in Atlanta, GA
ESPN
"it's a foot race"
Can football players race on anything else besides feet?
Are bicycles allowed on the field?
At least make it more specific and call it a cleat race.
* We'd like to welcome NC A&T quarterback Lenorris Footman to the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars. He was missed and will be missed when we inevitably lose him in free agency to another all-name team.
Game 84 - New York Giants at Miami Dolphins
December 14 at Sun Life Stadium in Miami Gardens, FL
ESPN
ESPN
Game 83 - New England Patriots at Houston Texans
December 13 at NRG Stadium in Houston, TX
NBC
Football Phrases!
"New England lore"
"A horizontal game plan"
"Revis Island"
"Wam blocks" (said three times)
"The x-ray room"
"Trading big haymakers"
"Squirt out to the 18"
"Bowling balling his way for a first down"
"Nine totes for 37 yards"
NBC
Football Phrases!
"New England lore"
"A horizontal game plan"
"Revis Island"
"Wam blocks" (said three times)
"The x-ray room"
"Trading big haymakers"
"Squirt out to the 18"
"Bowling balling his way for a first down"
"Nine totes for 37 yards"
Game 82 - Dallas Cowboys at Washington Redskins
December 7 at FedEx Field in Landover, MD
ESPN
Jon Gruden:
"That was an NFL pro football play right there by DeSean Jackson."
Well, thank goodness for that.
ESPN
Jon Gruden:
"That was an NFL pro football play right there by DeSean Jackson."
Well, thank goodness for that.
Game 79 - Michigan State vs. Iowa
December 5 at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, IN
FOX
Just a couple magical moments for color commentator Joel Klatt in the fourth quarter:
About 4 1/2 minutes left, Iowa leads 13-9 with Michigan State driving.
Klatt:
"This feels like the determining drive of this game."
Thanks, Joe!
Then, Joe said these things:
"Making people miss in a phone booth....I'm sure you've heard it."
Next sentence: "Breaking ankles. Not literally."
Wow!
FOX
Just a couple magical moments for color commentator Joel Klatt in the fourth quarter:
About 4 1/2 minutes left, Iowa leads 13-9 with Michigan State driving.
Klatt:
"This feels like the determining drive of this game."
Thanks, Joe!
Then, Joe said these things:
"Making people miss in a phone booth....I'm sure you've heard it."
Next sentence: "Breaking ankles. Not literally."
Wow!
Game 78 - New England Patriots at Denver Broncos
November 29 at Sports Authority Field in Denver, CO
NBC
Chris Collinsworth is probably my favorite football color commentator, though he doesn't have a whole lot of competition. He's solid and I enjoy listening to him.
But even Chrollinsworth (coined it) isn't immune to having a few "moments", as was the case in Sunday's 30-24, overtime win for the Broncos.
On Denver QB Brock Osweiler:
"Osweiler, with that basketball background, very comfortable throwing on the run."
Pardon?
After Osweiler was intercepted at his own 15:
"That's what you didn't want to happen."
Thanks, Chris!
After C.J. Anderson's game-winning touchdown run in OT:
"C.J. Anderson brings home the bacon for Brock Osweiler."
No.
No he did not.
NBC
Chris Collinsworth is probably my favorite football color commentator, though he doesn't have a whole lot of competition. He's solid and I enjoy listening to him.
But even Chrollinsworth (coined it) isn't immune to having a few "moments", as was the case in Sunday's 30-24, overtime win for the Broncos.
On Denver QB Brock Osweiler:
"Osweiler, with that basketball background, very comfortable throwing on the run."
Pardon?
After Osweiler was intercepted at his own 15:
"That's what you didn't want to happen."
Thanks, Chris!
After C.J. Anderson's game-winning touchdown run in OT:
"C.J. Anderson brings home the bacon for Brock Osweiler."
No.
No he did not.
Game 75 - Navy at Houston
November 27 at Tdecu Stadium in Houston, TX
ESPN
Today I'd like to play a quick game the whole family can enjoy called What Is Mack Brown Talking About?
Play-by-play man Dave Flemming was mentioning the military and all the sacrifices they make. Then Brown said this:
"We wouldn't have Thanksgiving without the military."
Pardon?
ESPN
Today I'd like to play a quick game the whole family can enjoy called What Is Mack Brown Talking About?
Play-by-play man Dave Flemming was mentioning the military and all the sacrifices they make. Then Brown said this:
"We wouldn't have Thanksgiving without the military."
Pardon?
Game 73 - Cincinnati Bengals at Arizona Cardinals
November 22 at University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, AZ
NBC
NBC
Game 72 - South Alabama at Georgia State
November 21 at Georgia Dome in Atlanta, GA
espn3.com
Georgia State held the visiting Jaguars to 284 total yards in a 24-10 victory, improved to 4-6 and will be eligible for a bowl with a win in each of its final two games.
That's an amazing thing to think about for a team that went 0-12 and 1-11 in its first two seasons in Division 1 and was 1-4 a little over a month ago.
Two big things for GSU in this one. First, they converted 13-of-20 on third down, and I was honestly surprised when I read that statistic because I thought they were even better. It seemed like every time a first was needed on third down, especially in the second half, quarterback Nick Arbuckle (27-for-44, 311 yards) found a receiver, and almost every time that receiver was Donovan Harden.
Harden had seven catches, and I'm pretty sure each grab was enormous.
Second thing: South Alabama took a 10-0 lead 65 seconds into the second quarter, but never scored another point. It was one of the best defensive performances in the short history of Georgia State football.
espn3.com
Georgia State held the visiting Jaguars to 284 total yards in a 24-10 victory, improved to 4-6 and will be eligible for a bowl with a win in each of its final two games.
That's an amazing thing to think about for a team that went 0-12 and 1-11 in its first two seasons in Division 1 and was 1-4 a little over a month ago.
Two big things for GSU in this one. First, they converted 13-of-20 on third down, and I was honestly surprised when I read that statistic because I thought they were even better. It seemed like every time a first was needed on third down, especially in the second half, quarterback Nick Arbuckle (27-for-44, 311 yards) found a receiver, and almost every time that receiver was Donovan Harden.
Harden had seven catches, and I'm pretty sure each grab was enormous.
Second thing: South Alabama took a 10-0 lead 65 seconds into the second quarter, but never scored another point. It was one of the best defensive performances in the short history of Georgia State football.
Game 71 - Michigan at Penn State
November 21 at Beaver Stadium in University Park, PA
ABC
Third quarter, ABC comes back from a commercial and we've got live footage.
Live footage of what, someone, one day will ask?
Oh, just Ohio State fans at a tailgate watching the Michigan-Penn State game.
Not pictured: Penn State fans, still at their tailgate, watching the Ohio State fans at a tailgate watching the Michigan-Penn State game.
ABC
Third quarter, ABC comes back from a commercial and we've got live footage.
Live footage of what, someone, one day will ask?
Oh, just Ohio State fans at a tailgate watching the Michigan-Penn State game.
Not pictured: Penn State fans, still at their tailgate, watching the Ohio State fans at a tailgate watching the Michigan-Penn State game.
Game 70 - East Carolina at Central Florida
November 19 at Bright House Networks Stadium in Orlando, FL
ESPN
It's been a miserable season for Central Florida & unfortunately I had to be a part of it on Thursday as East Carolina won 44-7.
The Golden Knights, now 0-11, actually led 7-0 on a touchdown pass from Justin Holman to TreQuan Smith on the first possession of the night, but you know the old saying: "Central Florida is about to give up 44 unanswered points and not come close to scoring again."
ECU quarterback Blake Kemp had a career night, throwing for 448 yards and four touchdowns. The UCF defense is horrendous as this was the sixth time in 11 games they've allowed at least 40 points.
ESPN
It's been a miserable season for Central Florida & unfortunately I had to be a part of it on Thursday as East Carolina won 44-7.
The Golden Knights, now 0-11, actually led 7-0 on a touchdown pass from Justin Holman to TreQuan Smith on the first possession of the night, but you know the old saying: "Central Florida is about to give up 44 unanswered points and not come close to scoring again."
ECU quarterback Blake Kemp had a career night, throwing for 448 yards and four touchdowns. The UCF defense is horrendous as this was the sixth time in 11 games they've allowed at least 40 points.
Game 68 - Arizona Cardinals at Seattle Seahawks
November 15 at CenturyLink Field in Seattle, WA
NBC
We've mentioned a few of these during our Football Phrases segments, but this is our first edition of PLEASE STOP SAYING THESE THINGS.
[Full Hall of Fame list here]
"Butt fumble"
"Honey badger"
"Legion of boom"
"Belichickian"
NBC
We've mentioned a few of these during our Football Phrases segments, but this is our first edition of PLEASE STOP SAYING THESE THINGS.
[Full Hall of Fame list here]
"Butt fumble"
"Honey badger"
"Legion of boom"
"Belichickian"
Game 66 - Georgia State at Texas State
November 14 at Bobcat Stadium in San Marcos, TX
Time Warner Cable
Time Warner Cable
Game 65 - Maryland at Michigan State
November 14 at Spartan Stadium in East Lansing, MI
ESPN2
Announcers are always talking about a player "making people miss", and how "he makes people miss."
I'd like to follow a football player around, off the field, and watch him make non-football people miss.
He's running in a half-marathon and side-stepping the water people. He's in a movie theater, running in front of the screen, getting in the way, waving his arms.
He won't let you answer your phone.
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
We added a trio of Spartans to our all-name team. Please welcome -
Cole Chewins, freshman offensive tackle
Taybor Pepper, senior snapper
Cassius Peat, freshman offensive lineman
ESPN2
Announcers are always talking about a player "making people miss", and how "he makes people miss."
I'd like to follow a football player around, off the field, and watch him make non-football people miss.
He's running in a half-marathon and side-stepping the water people. He's in a movie theater, running in front of the screen, getting in the way, waving his arms.
He won't let you answer your phone.
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
We added a trio of Spartans to our all-name team. Please welcome -
Cole Chewins, freshman offensive tackle
Taybor Pepper, senior snapper
Cassius Peat, freshman offensive lineman
Game 64 - Virginia Tech at Georgia Tech
November 12 at Bobby Dodd Stadium in Atlanta, GA
The Ramblin' Wreck is a car that takes the Georgia Tech players onto the field before each home game.
Besides daydreaming about it running out of gas at about the 25-yard line, or having a tail light out, what I also find funny about this whole production are the tire tracks left on the field.
This is an early-fourth quarter shot:
Anyway, the hosts jumped on top 14-0 with an early and late-first quarter touchdown, but didn't score another offensive point in a 23-21 loss. Georgia Tech lost three fumbles as well & at 3-7 with two games to play will not play in a bowl game for the first time since 1996.
Yellow Jackets coach Paul Johnson called the performance on Thursday "embarrassing".
The Ramblin' Wreck is a car that takes the Georgia Tech players onto the field before each home game.
Besides daydreaming about it running out of gas at about the 25-yard line, or having a tail light out, what I also find funny about this whole production are the tire tracks left on the field.
This is an early-fourth quarter shot:
Anyway, the hosts jumped on top 14-0 with an early and late-first quarter touchdown, but didn't score another offensive point in a 23-21 loss. Georgia Tech lost three fumbles as well & at 3-7 with two games to play will not play in a bowl game for the first time since 1996.
Yellow Jackets coach Paul Johnson called the performance on Thursday "embarrassing".
Game 63 - Kent State at Ohio
November 10 at Peden Stadium in Athens, OH
ESPNU
The nickname "Golden Flashes" is pretty bad, but this Kent State offense is also quite dreadful.
The offense was held to 191 total yards (3.4/play) and eight first downs in a 27-0 loss. It's the fifth time in nine games The Real KSU has been held to single-digit points.
Only memorable moment was Ohio's first touchdown 1:14 in when Sebastian Smith caught an underthrown pass from Derrius Vick and scored when the safety fell down.
"MACtion", am I right?
* Couple things from the broadcast I'd like to briefly comment on.
"Make plays vertically down the field"
Is there a way of making plays horizontally down the field?
"Runs behind those shoulder pads"
Stop it!
ESPNU
The nickname "Golden Flashes" is pretty bad, but this Kent State offense is also quite dreadful.
The offense was held to 191 total yards (3.4/play) and eight first downs in a 27-0 loss. It's the fifth time in nine games The Real KSU has been held to single-digit points.
Only memorable moment was Ohio's first touchdown 1:14 in when Sebastian Smith caught an underthrown pass from Derrius Vick and scored when the safety fell down.
"MACtion", am I right?
* Couple things from the broadcast I'd like to briefly comment on.
"Make plays vertically down the field"
Is there a way of making plays horizontally down the field?
"Runs behind those shoulder pads"
Stop it!
Game 62 - Chicago Bears at San Diego Chargers
November 9 at Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego, CA
ESPN
I didn't know that Chicago defensive end Lamarr Houston tore his ACL celebrating a sack last season, but I do know it's absolutely ridiculous. Even if you only develop a cough or a cold from the celebration, and not a torn ACL, it's still ridiculous.
Also, there was no reason for Houston's parents to add an extra R to his first name. Lamar would've been just fine.
* Nice night of Nonsense from Mike Tirico and Jon Gruden, who never disappoint.
"Ground-based organization" (Tirico)
"Clock it" (T)
"Beware of blind pursuit" (Gruden)
"Bullet slant" (G)
"Spider cam" (T)
"The walking wounded" (G)
"Makeshift receiving core" (G)
"Gunslinger" (T)
"Attack you horizontally" (G)
And the Phrase of the Night came from Gruden:
"He threw the ball with nothing but his arm!"
ESPN
I didn't know that Chicago defensive end Lamarr Houston tore his ACL celebrating a sack last season, but I do know it's absolutely ridiculous. Even if you only develop a cough or a cold from the celebration, and not a torn ACL, it's still ridiculous.
Also, there was no reason for Houston's parents to add an extra R to his first name. Lamar would've been just fine.
* Nice night of Nonsense from Mike Tirico and Jon Gruden, who never disappoint.
"Ground-based organization" (Tirico)
"Clock it" (T)
"Beware of blind pursuit" (Gruden)
"Bullet slant" (G)
"Spider cam" (T)
"The walking wounded" (G)
"Makeshift receiving core" (G)
"Gunslinger" (T)
"Attack you horizontally" (G)
And the Phrase of the Night came from Gruden:
"He threw the ball with nothing but his arm!"
Game 60 - California at Oregon
November 7 at Autzen Stadium in Eugene, OR
ESPN
On a handful of days at our baseball site, 300 Game Season, we turned off the broadcast and listened to some great music.
It was originally called Singles Night, then I promised to come up with a better name and never did. So, while Oregon had a huge second quarter (28-0) to pull away and win 44-28, here's our first football version of Singles Night!
Close to the Edge/Roundabout - Yes
Because the Night - Patti Smith Group
Lady you shot me - Har Mar Superstar
Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon
Chico Marx on piano from A Night at the Opera
Far East Medley/Vix 9 - Bela Fleck and the Flecktones
Alison - Elvis Costello
Can't Help Falling in Love - UB40
September Gurls - Big Star
I Wanna be your Dog - Stooges
Brother John - Wild Tchoupitoulas
In a Dream - Skybox
Hold Back the Night - Graham Parker and the Rumour
Jessica/Melissa - Allman Brothers Band
Psycho Killer - Talking Heads
Zombie/Linger - The Cranberries
Feel Flows - Beach Boys
Rain King - Counting Crows
When You Say Nothing At All - Alison Krauss
Harpo Marx on harp from A Night at the Opera
Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters - Elton John
ESPN
On a handful of days at our baseball site, 300 Game Season, we turned off the broadcast and listened to some great music.
It was originally called Singles Night, then I promised to come up with a better name and never did. So, while Oregon had a huge second quarter (28-0) to pull away and win 44-28, here's our first football version of Singles Night!
Close to the Edge/Roundabout - Yes
Because the Night - Patti Smith Group
Lady you shot me - Har Mar Superstar
Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon
Chico Marx on piano from A Night at the Opera
Far East Medley/Vix 9 - Bela Fleck and the Flecktones
Alison - Elvis Costello
Can't Help Falling in Love - UB40
September Gurls - Big Star
I Wanna be your Dog - Stooges
Brother John - Wild Tchoupitoulas
In a Dream - Skybox
Hold Back the Night - Graham Parker and the Rumour
Jessica/Melissa - Allman Brothers Band
Psycho Killer - Talking Heads
Zombie/Linger - The Cranberries
Feel Flows - Beach Boys
Rain King - Counting Crows
When You Say Nothing At All - Alison Krauss
Harpo Marx on harp from A Night at the Opera
Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters - Elton John
Game 57 - Mississippi State at Missouri
November 5 at Memorial Stadium in Columbia, MO
ESPN
Just have two quick things to say about this game and they came from Unnecessary 3rd Announcer David Pollack & Slightly Less Unnecessary 2nd Announcer Jesse Palmer.
While Mississippi State quarterback Dak Prescott was making a run in the third quarter, Pollack said this about trying to tackle a big quarterback:
"That's a business decision".
And here's Palmer on Auburn running back Peyton Barber:
"He picks his feet up and puts them down maybe better than anyone in college football."
Thanks, Jesse!
ESPN
Just have two quick things to say about this game and they came from Unnecessary 3rd Announcer David Pollack & Slightly Less Unnecessary 2nd Announcer Jesse Palmer.
While Mississippi State quarterback Dak Prescott was making a run in the third quarter, Pollack said this about trying to tackle a big quarterback:
"That's a business decision".
And here's Palmer on Auburn running back Peyton Barber:
"He picks his feet up and puts them down maybe better than anyone in college football."
Thanks, Jesse!
Game 56 - Northern Illinois at Toledo
November 3 at Glass Bowl in Toledo, OH
ESPN
It was a great night for the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars as we added two new players to the roster:
Northern Illinois
Spencer Tears - freshman wide receiver
Toledo
Storm Norton - junior lineman
Also
* "MACtion" was said four times
"It's MACtion!"
"Love MACtion on Tuesday nights"
ESPN
It was a great night for the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars as we added two new players to the roster:
Northern Illinois
Spencer Tears - freshman wide receiver
Toledo
Storm Norton - junior lineman
Also
* "MACtion" was said four times
"It's MACtion!"
"Love MACtion on Tuesday nights"
Game 55 - Indianapolis Colts at Carolina Panthers
November 2 at Bank of America Stadium in Charlotte, NC
ESPN
Graham Gano kicked a 52-yard field goal in overtime as Carolina moved to 7-0 for the first time in its history with a 29-26 win.
But we've got more important things to discuss, mainly that it was a top 10 Football Phrase Monday from Mike Tirico & Jon Gruden.
10. "Route tree"
9. "Loaded box"
8. "A menu of plays"
7. "Shut down, bump and run corners"
6. "A team full of grinders"
5. "Cross dog blitz"
4. "Wet ball snaps"
3. "Luck is on his side of the chess board"
2. "Football city, USA"
1. "Riverboat Ron" (said four times)
ESPN
Graham Gano kicked a 52-yard field goal in overtime as Carolina moved to 7-0 for the first time in its history with a 29-26 win.
But we've got more important things to discuss, mainly that it was a top 10 Football Phrase Monday from Mike Tirico & Jon Gruden.
10. "Route tree"
9. "Loaded box"
8. "A menu of plays"
7. "Shut down, bump and run corners"
6. "A team full of grinders"
5. "Cross dog blitz"
4. "Wet ball snaps"
3. "Luck is on his side of the chess board"
2. "Football city, USA"
1. "Riverboat Ron" (said four times)
Games 53 & 54
Georgia Tech at Virginia
October 31 at Scott Stadium in Charlottesville, VA
Fox Sports South
Maryland at Iowa
October 31 at Kinnick Stadium in Iowa City, IA
ESPN
October 31 at Scott Stadium in Charlottesville, VA
Fox Sports South
Maryland at Iowa
October 31 at Kinnick Stadium in Iowa City, IA
ESPN
Game 50 - North Carolina at Pittsburgh
October 29 at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, PA
ESPN
We have a new entry for Comment of the Year, and it's provided by color commentator Kelly Stouffer:
He's talking about Pitt's Tyler Boyd, a WIDE RECEIVER, after Boyd made a catch:
"Boyd runs really good routes, but probably the best thing he does is right there - catch the football."
Thanks, Kelly!
* Some more Stouffer Nonsense:
"Low percentage vertical throws"
"Explosive elements"
"A man-beating route"
"Seeking space"
"Mass of humanity"
"Alpha receiver"
"Play extender"
"He doesn't have to carry the weight on his shoulders"
ESPN
We have a new entry for Comment of the Year, and it's provided by color commentator Kelly Stouffer:
He's talking about Pitt's Tyler Boyd, a WIDE RECEIVER, after Boyd made a catch:
"Boyd runs really good routes, but probably the best thing he does is right there - catch the football."
Thanks, Kelly!
* Some more Stouffer Nonsense:
"Low percentage vertical throws"
"Explosive elements"
"A man-beating route"
"Seeking space"
"Mass of humanity"
"Alpha receiver"
"Play extender"
"He doesn't have to carry the weight on his shoulders"
Game 49 - Baltimore Ravens at Arizona Cardinals
October 26 at University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, AZ
ESPN
ESPN
Game 48 - Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants
October 25 at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ
FOX
My friend Marc
is a Giants fan, so I wrote down all of the things he screamed about his team, the Cowboys and other NFL-related things during NY's 27-20 victory.
"Don't run it out, you idiot!"
"Oh look, Larry Donnell caught a ball and didn't give it to the other team."
(On Eli Manning) "There's infuriating play number one."
"What a terrible throw that was!"
"The Giants are the worst team in NFL."
"B - R - O - W - N - S Browns!"
"The Giants are pathetic" (said twice)
"Oh, pick it off you loser!"
"Wow! What a play by the Giants there!"
"Oh look, the Giants kicker just kicked the ball out of bounds."
"What kind of a throw was that?!"
"You can't tackle him? The big, slow white guy?!"
"Why is he even holding? Is he blocking for the other team?"
"He's such a loser, Eli Manning" (said three times)
"Infuriating play number three, right before the half"
"Eli Manning is such an idiot"
"Chargers football!"
"That play stunk" (said three times)
FOX
My friend Marc
is a Giants fan, so I wrote down all of the things he screamed about his team, the Cowboys and other NFL-related things during NY's 27-20 victory.
"Don't run it out, you idiot!"
"Oh look, Larry Donnell caught a ball and didn't give it to the other team."
(On Eli Manning) "There's infuriating play number one."
"What a terrible throw that was!"
"The Giants are the worst team in NFL."
"B - R - O - W - N - S Browns!"
"The Giants are pathetic" (said twice)
"Oh, pick it off you loser!"
"Wow! What a play by the Giants there!"
"Oh look, the Giants kicker just kicked the ball out of bounds."
"What kind of a throw was that?!"
"You can't tackle him? The big, slow white guy?!"
"Why is he even holding? Is he blocking for the other team?"
"He's such a loser, Eli Manning" (said three times)
"Infuriating play number three, right before the half"
"Eli Manning is such an idiot"
"Chargers football!"
"That play stunk" (said three times)
Game 46 - Florida State at Georgia Tech
October 24 at Bobby Dodd Stadium in Atlanta, GA
I'll start with an important public service announcement
And that probably wasn't the only reason there were some grumpy band members because THIS is how the game ended:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV0YvPnmZsU
I'll start with an important public service announcement
And that probably wasn't the only reason there were some grumpy band members because THIS is how the game ended:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV0YvPnmZsU
Game 45 - Iowa State at Baylor
October 24 at McLane Stadium in Waco, TX
ESPN
Baylor really didn't have much trouble with Iowa State, winning 45-27. But, as has become customary at this site and others, I'd rather just talk about ridiculous things said by humans about sports.
Here's what we have from Saturday:
"When that motor runs and that engine revs, he's a difference maker"
Engine revs! Excellent start.
"The chunk cut"
Don't say chunk cut.
"He's a football player"
Thank goodness. It would've been an embarrassing situation if he were a lacrosse player.
TYLER, put the STICK DOWN.
"This is a a pride drive, it's an opportunity drive"
It's a pridertunity drive.
"Mel Kiper's big board"
Would be great if the board was on a wall in Mel Kiper's bathroom until April when he unhooks it, shoves it in the back seat of his car and drives to the draft.
"He's our coach on the field"
You know what, it's time for a player-coach in college football. Let's get Jimbo Fisher out there at free safety, or Mangino needs to play nose tackle.
"Almost the definition of 'throwing your wide receiver open'"
That has a definition?
Some others:
"personnel groupings"
"they take your will away"
"this is a hat on a hat"
"variance in his game"
"lost 2 or 3 yards of real estate"
"that's a tough recipe"
"owned at the point of attack"
"quick bootleg action"
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
Please welcome referee Brad Van Vark
ESPN
Baylor really didn't have much trouble with Iowa State, winning 45-27. But, as has become customary at this site and others, I'd rather just talk about ridiculous things said by humans about sports.
Here's what we have from Saturday:
"When that motor runs and that engine revs, he's a difference maker"
Engine revs! Excellent start.
"The chunk cut"
Don't say chunk cut.
"He's a football player"
Thank goodness. It would've been an embarrassing situation if he were a lacrosse player.
TYLER, put the STICK DOWN.
"This is a a pride drive, it's an opportunity drive"
It's a pridertunity drive.
"Mel Kiper's big board"
Would be great if the board was on a wall in Mel Kiper's bathroom until April when he unhooks it, shoves it in the back seat of his car and drives to the draft.
"He's our coach on the field"
You know what, it's time for a player-coach in college football. Let's get Jimbo Fisher out there at free safety, or Mangino needs to play nose tackle.
"Almost the definition of 'throwing your wide receiver open'"
That has a definition?
Some others:
"personnel groupings"
"they take your will away"
"this is a hat on a hat"
"variance in his game"
"lost 2 or 3 yards of real estate"
"that's a tough recipe"
"owned at the point of attack"
"quick bootleg action"
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
Please welcome referee Brad Van Vark
Game 43 - Temple at East Carolina
October 22 at Dowdy-Ficklen Stadium in Greenville, NC
ESPN
A truly excellent night for the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars as we added three new members to the team:
Temple
Brodrick Yancy
East Carolina
Zeek Bigger
Rocco Scarfone
ESPN
A truly excellent night for the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars as we added three new members to the team:
Temple
Brodrick Yancy
East Carolina
Zeek Bigger
Rocco Scarfone
Game 42 - New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles
October 19 at Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia, PA
ESPN
ESPN
Game 41 - Georgia State at Ball State
October 17 at Scheumann Stadium in Muncie, IN
espn3.com
It's been an extremely-difficult first 2 1/2 seasons in Division 1 for Georgia State, which came into the day having won just twice in 27 games since the start of the 2013 season. But Saturday was one of the Panthers' finest days in the upper division as Nick Arbuckle threw for 412 yards, 125 of which (and a touchdown) went to Robert Davis, and ran for two scores in a 31-19 win.
The former junior college quarterback Arbuckle is getting more and more comfortable in his second season as a Panther, and if the defense can be anything better than horrendous (109th nationally allowing an average of 35 1/2 points), the Atlanta school may be able to pick up another win or two in 2015.
Play-by-play man Jim Barbar
Quite a day for Barbar. Let's take a look.
1. Pre-game: "They say you can't teach height."
They do?
2. Mid-fourth quarter: "Could we have some dramatic endings to this game?"
Ending(s)?
3. After Georgia State scored a first quarter touchdown to go up 6-3: "Georgia State draws first blood."
It appears that Jim Barbar doesn't know what "draws first blood" means.
And these things were also said:
"The first points of the second half and it couldn't have come at a better opportunity for Georgia State."
"Ball State 9 for 11 on fourth down, that's one of your more positive numbers in the country."
(On a kick off) "And Dylan Curry with the reception."
espn3.com
It's been an extremely-difficult first 2 1/2 seasons in Division 1 for Georgia State, which came into the day having won just twice in 27 games since the start of the 2013 season. But Saturday was one of the Panthers' finest days in the upper division as Nick Arbuckle threw for 412 yards, 125 of which (and a touchdown) went to Robert Davis, and ran for two scores in a 31-19 win.
The former junior college quarterback Arbuckle is getting more and more comfortable in his second season as a Panther, and if the defense can be anything better than horrendous (109th nationally allowing an average of 35 1/2 points), the Atlanta school may be able to pick up another win or two in 2015.
Play-by-play man Jim Barbar
Quite a day for Barbar. Let's take a look.
1. Pre-game: "They say you can't teach height."
They do?
2. Mid-fourth quarter: "Could we have some dramatic endings to this game?"
Ending(s)?
3. After Georgia State scored a first quarter touchdown to go up 6-3: "Georgia State draws first blood."
It appears that Jim Barbar doesn't know what "draws first blood" means.
And these things were also said:
"The first points of the second half and it couldn't have come at a better opportunity for Georgia State."
"Ball State 9 for 11 on fourth down, that's one of your more positive numbers in the country."
(On a kick off) "And Dylan Curry with the reception."
Game 40 - San Diego State at San Jose State
October 17 at Spartan Stadium in San Jose, CA
ESPN
San Diego State's Donnel Pumphrey was excellent - 207 yards from scrimmage and two touchdowns - in the Aztecs' 30-7 win.
Color commentator David Diaz-Infante had this to say about the junior back:
"He's one of the best running backs in the country that no one knows about."
1. So, Pumphrey is one of the best running backs of the running backs no one knows about?
2. How do we know how good he is if no one knows about him?
3. How many broadcasts of San Diego State games will it take before someone knows something?
ESPN
San Diego State's Donnel Pumphrey was excellent - 207 yards from scrimmage and two touchdowns - in the Aztecs' 30-7 win.
Color commentator David Diaz-Infante had this to say about the junior back:
"He's one of the best running backs in the country that no one knows about."
1. So, Pumphrey is one of the best running backs of the running backs no one knows about?
2. How do we know how good he is if no one knows about him?
3. How many broadcasts of San Diego State games will it take before someone knows something?
Game 38 - Loganville HS at Salem HS
October 16 at Salem Stadium in Conyers, GA
Things got LOUD at times in the press box. Two-year old dropped her sippy cup loud.
The public address announcer named the Salem defense "the human wall" early on and he stuck with until the very end, saying it nine times over the course of Loganville's 20-9 victory.
Unfortunately for Salem, its quarterback, Gerald Walker was the human throwing the ball to the other team, tossing five interceptions, two of which were returned for touchdowns.
Some other sounds from the PA, coaches and radio people:
"he doesn't put it on the carpet"
"knocking at the door"
"we've got laundry on the field"
"march down the field, get in the red zone"
"the Salem angels are on our side"
"that's a tall order"
"he's carrying the ball like a loaf of bread"
Things got LOUD at times in the press box. Two-year old dropped her sippy cup loud.
The public address announcer named the Salem defense "the human wall" early on and he stuck with until the very end, saying it nine times over the course of Loganville's 20-9 victory.
Unfortunately for Salem, its quarterback, Gerald Walker was the human throwing the ball to the other team, tossing five interceptions, two of which were returned for touchdowns.
Some other sounds from the PA, coaches and radio people:
"he doesn't put it on the carpet"
"knocking at the door"
"we've got laundry on the field"
"march down the field, get in the red zone"
"the Salem angels are on our side"
"that's a tall order"
"he's carrying the ball like a loaf of bread"
Game 37 - Alabama State at Arkansas-Pine Bluff
October 15 at Golden Lion Stadium in Pine Bluff, AR
ESPNU
ESPNU
Game 36 - Arkansas State at South Alabama
October 13 at Ladd-Peebles Stadium in Mobile, AL
ESPN2
I counted some things during this 49-31 Arkansas State victory.
horrible kick coverage - once
terrible, terrible blocking (7)
ahhhh! a 17-yard punt! (1)
ahhhh! a 9-yard punt! (1)
that's not a very good snap (2)
awful, awful tackling (9)
terrible passes (7)
one of the top 5 worst fake punt attempts in college football history (1)
* Rocky Boiman is the color commentator that keeps on giving each week.
He called the South Alabama Jaguars the "jag-u-wires" twice, and also said these things:
"they wanted to set the box" (4)
"and that's why they say 'he will play on Sundays!'" (2)
"he's a one track and go guy. they need to get him going on that train tonight"
"one of the best sack masters in the Sun Belt Conference"
"coming out party"
But Rocky's finest was: "he finally makes their identity whole".
Pardon?
ESPN2
I counted some things during this 49-31 Arkansas State victory.
horrible kick coverage - once
terrible, terrible blocking (7)
ahhhh! a 17-yard punt! (1)
ahhhh! a 9-yard punt! (1)
that's not a very good snap (2)
awful, awful tackling (9)
terrible passes (7)
one of the top 5 worst fake punt attempts in college football history (1)
* Rocky Boiman is the color commentator that keeps on giving each week.
He called the South Alabama Jaguars the "jag-u-wires" twice, and also said these things:
"they wanted to set the box" (4)
"and that's why they say 'he will play on Sundays!'" (2)
"he's a one track and go guy. they need to get him going on that train tonight"
"one of the best sack masters in the Sun Belt Conference"
"coming out party"
But Rocky's finest was: "he finally makes their identity whole".
Pardon?
Game 34 - N.C. State at Virginia Tech
October 9 at Lane Stadium in Blacksburg, VA
ESPN
Had a bit of a rain storm with lightning in Blacksburg, which delayed the kickoff a few minutes.
Play-by-play man Dave Flemming let us a know a few times over the course of the first half:
"here in a wet Blacksburg, Virginia"
"the lightning has stopped, thankfully, but it's still wet"
"here in rainy Blacksburg"
"the storm has past"
"a wet night"
"with all that rain, this field has been wonderful to play on"
"we had a big lightning storm pre-game"
ESPN
Had a bit of a rain storm with lightning in Blacksburg, which delayed the kickoff a few minutes.
Play-by-play man Dave Flemming let us a know a few times over the course of the first half:
"here in a wet Blacksburg, Virginia"
"the lightning has stopped, thankfully, but it's still wet"
"here in rainy Blacksburg"
"the storm has past"
"a wet night"
"with all that rain, this field has been wonderful to play on"
"we had a big lightning storm pre-game"
Game 33 - Tucker HS at Rockdale HS
October 9 at Reid Stadium in Conyers, GA
I almost feel nervous writing it. Like as soon as I'm finished typing the sentence, I'll be dragged before some sort of journalistic accuracy court and the trial will last months.
But: Tucker rushed for 498 yards and averaged 15 yards per carry in a 56-21 victory.
498!
Watching certain high school teams try and play defense is usually worth the price of admission if the price of admission is six paper clips.
I've seen some horrifying high school defenses over the years, and Friday was one of those years. Tucker handed the ball to running backs and they ran fast and far and, I'm assuming, did a good bit of soft chuckling on their way into the end zone.
I almost feel nervous writing it. Like as soon as I'm finished typing the sentence, I'll be dragged before some sort of journalistic accuracy court and the trial will last months.
But: Tucker rushed for 498 yards and averaged 15 yards per carry in a 56-21 victory.
498!
Watching certain high school teams try and play defense is usually worth the price of admission if the price of admission is six paper clips.
I've seen some horrifying high school defenses over the years, and Friday was one of those years. Tucker handed the ball to running backs and they ran fast and far and, I'm assuming, did a good bit of soft chuckling on their way into the end zone.
Game 32 - Washington at USC
October 8 at Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, CA
ESPN
Washington went on the road and won 17-12 over No. 17 USC, thanks to a go-ahead touchdown pass from quarterback Jake Browning to Marvin Hall to Joshua Perkins in the third and a Myles Gaskin one-yard scoring run in the fourth.
But that's now what matters.
What's important are FOUR new additions to the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars.
USC
Marvell Tell
Yooki Quansah
Washington
Vita Vea
Chico McClatcher
Outstanding evening for the all-name team.
ESPN
Washington went on the road and won 17-12 over No. 17 USC, thanks to a go-ahead touchdown pass from quarterback Jake Browning to Marvin Hall to Joshua Perkins in the third and a Myles Gaskin one-yard scoring run in the fourth.
But that's now what matters.
What's important are FOUR new additions to the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars.
USC
Marvell Tell
Yooki Quansah
Washington
Vita Vea
Chico McClatcher
Outstanding evening for the all-name team.
Game 31 - Detroit Lions at Seattle Seahawks
October 5 at CenturyLink Field in Seattle, WA
ESPN
Jon Gruden LOVES some stuff. But he also likes a few things and is impressed by a few other things.
Let's take a look at our Monday Grudens
Love
- "I love this Teryl Austin."
- "I love these Seahawks linebackers"
- "I love the way this kid is playing, Ihedigbo."
- "I love Seattle."
Like
- "I like what Detroit is doing."
- "I like Abdullah."
Impressed
- "I'm impressed with him (Detroit running back Ameer Abdullah)
- "His wingspan is impressive."
Others love too
- "They love Lockett here."
- "Pete Carroll loves these rangy corners."
- "They love to play for Pete Carroll in this Seahawk environment."
Please, please, PLEASE stop saying these things
"Legion of boom" (said three times)
"The 12th man" (4)
"Megatron" (6)
ESPN
Jon Gruden LOVES some stuff. But he also likes a few things and is impressed by a few other things.
Let's take a look at our Monday Grudens
Love
- "I love this Teryl Austin."
- "I love these Seahawks linebackers"
- "I love the way this kid is playing, Ihedigbo."
- "I love Seattle."
Like
- "I like what Detroit is doing."
- "I like Abdullah."
Impressed
- "I'm impressed with him (Detroit running back Ameer Abdullah)
- "His wingspan is impressive."
Others love too
- "They love Lockett here."
- "Pete Carroll loves these rangy corners."
- "They love to play for Pete Carroll in this Seahawk environment."
Please, please, PLEASE stop saying these things
"Legion of boom" (said three times)
"The 12th man" (4)
"Megatron" (6)
Game 30 - Dallas Cowboys at New Orleans Saints
October 4 at The Superdome in New Orleans, LA
NBC
Lots of football phrases tonight
"Big Easy"
"Small ball"
"Three-headed running back situation"
"World beaters"
"Check Down Charlie"
"Crowd in full throat"
"He's really impressed with his work ethic"
"Pocket passer"
"Tweener"
"Mr. Brees"
"Carrying the load"
"One lurk coverage"
"Bountygate"
"Slung down"
"Exotic blitz packages"
"New England lore"
"He exploded off the tape"
"A budding superstar"
"The bacon was saved here"
"Iron man"
"The scoreboard's looked like a pinball machine"
"Elusiveness ratings"
"And now you've got injury to insult"
"Answer the bell"
"A thousand percent"
NBC
Lots of football phrases tonight
"Big Easy"
"Small ball"
"Three-headed running back situation"
"World beaters"
"Check Down Charlie"
"Crowd in full throat"
"He's really impressed with his work ethic"
"Pocket passer"
"Tweener"
"Mr. Brees"
"Carrying the load"
"One lurk coverage"
"Bountygate"
"Slung down"
"Exotic blitz packages"
"New England lore"
"He exploded off the tape"
"A budding superstar"
"The bacon was saved here"
"Iron man"
"The scoreboard's looked like a pinball machine"
"Elusiveness ratings"
"And now you've got injury to insult"
"Answer the bell"
"A thousand percent"
Game 29 - Hawaii at Boise State
October 3 at Albertsons Stadium in Boise, ID
ESPN2
This will probably be the most lopsided game I watch all season as Boise State completely dominated in a 55-0 victory.
Boise had 554 total yards, Hawaii, slightly less (170).
Ray Bentley, part 1
First time listening to Bentley, and a solid first collection of Football Phrases.
"He's a north and south guy"
"Highlight reel"
"Film study"
"The kid just wants it a little but more than anyone else"
"He was spinnin' it"
"Should've taken that to the house"
"The MAC West is a tough sled this year"
And his top 3
3. "Shake and bake with the fake"
2. "Quarterback paint by numbers"
1. "He threw that 50, 55 yards in the air!"
ESPN2
This will probably be the most lopsided game I watch all season as Boise State completely dominated in a 55-0 victory.
Boise had 554 total yards, Hawaii, slightly less (170).
Ray Bentley, part 1
First time listening to Bentley, and a solid first collection of Football Phrases.
"He's a north and south guy"
"Highlight reel"
"Film study"
"The kid just wants it a little but more than anyone else"
"He was spinnin' it"
"Should've taken that to the house"
"The MAC West is a tough sled this year"
And his top 3
3. "Shake and bake with the fake"
2. "Quarterback paint by numbers"
1. "He threw that 50, 55 yards in the air!"
Game 27 - Connecticut at BYU
October 2 at LaVell Edwards Stadium in Provo, UT
ESPN2
Two games announced by Rocky Boiman, two hilarious things said by Rocky Boiman.
Here was game one, and here was Friday evening, a 30-13 BYU win:
"It wouldn't shock me, but I'd certainly be surprised if they tried something like that."
Rocky!
More from play-by-play man Eamon McAnaney
"It's getting chippy in the trenches"
"Home run ball"
"Established your culture"
"Nail into the coffin"
and Boiman
"Rapport"
"Money time"/"money situations"
"You love it when a linebacker sees it, believes it and shoots his gun"
Rocky!
ESPN2
Two games announced by Rocky Boiman, two hilarious things said by Rocky Boiman.
Here was game one, and here was Friday evening, a 30-13 BYU win:
"It wouldn't shock me, but I'd certainly be surprised if they tried something like that."
Rocky!
More from play-by-play man Eamon McAnaney
"It's getting chippy in the trenches"
"Home run ball"
"Established your culture"
"Nail into the coffin"
and Boiman
"Rapport"
"Money time"/"money situations"
"You love it when a linebacker sees it, believes it and shoots his gun"
Rocky!
Game 26 - Gainesville HS at Salem HS
October 2 at Salem Stadium in Conyers, GA
If enough fans had actually attended this game (total attendance: 62) they would've surely gotten some sort of escort situation together to help Gainesville leave the town of Conyers immediately.
Gainesville (mascot: the Red Elephants because of all of Earth's red elephants) forced six turnovers a week after picking up five against Salem's county rival, Heritage. Both games were wins for the visitors, including Friday's 34-6 victory, and the Hall County, GA school is 4-0 in Region 8-AAAAA play.
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
Let's welcome to the team Gainesville safety Weber Lint.
Weber Lint would've been Owen Lift's friend in Throw Momma From The Train if Owen's momma let him have any friends.
If enough fans had actually attended this game (total attendance: 62) they would've surely gotten some sort of escort situation together to help Gainesville leave the town of Conyers immediately.
Gainesville (mascot: the Red Elephants because of all of Earth's red elephants) forced six turnovers a week after picking up five against Salem's county rival, Heritage. Both games were wins for the visitors, including Friday's 34-6 victory, and the Hall County, GA school is 4-0 in Region 8-AAAAA play.
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
Let's welcome to the team Gainesville safety Weber Lint.
Weber Lint would've been Owen Lift's friend in Throw Momma From The Train if Owen's momma let him have any friends.
Game 25 - Kansas City Chiefs at Green Bay Packers
September 28 at Lambeau Field in Green Bay, WI
ESPN
We've got a few things to get to after this one - a 38-28 Green Bay win - so let's get a short list together.
1. I don't need to hear everything Aaron Rodgers says on every single Green Bay offensive snap.
"319 hut", great, I got it. He says that a lot. Turn the microphones off, please. I didn't hear a single word said by Chiefs' quarterback Alex Smith and it was wonderful.
Of course, that could also mean something is wrong with Alex Smith.
2. This Rodgers has a chip on his shoulder because of where he was drafted thing has got to stop. He's still upset about where he was drafted?! It was 2005 & he's since won two MVP awards & a Super Bowl MVP! We're still talking about the draft?!
You know what: SHUT UP, ESPN.
3. Finally, let's play What is Jon Gruden Talking About?
* Gruden: "Randall Cobb...I had a great conversation with him on the bus!"
The bus?
And:
"I know statistics are meaningless"
Pardon?
ESPN
We've got a few things to get to after this one - a 38-28 Green Bay win - so let's get a short list together.
1. I don't need to hear everything Aaron Rodgers says on every single Green Bay offensive snap.
"319 hut", great, I got it. He says that a lot. Turn the microphones off, please. I didn't hear a single word said by Chiefs' quarterback Alex Smith and it was wonderful.
Of course, that could also mean something is wrong with Alex Smith.
2. This Rodgers has a chip on his shoulder because of where he was drafted thing has got to stop. He's still upset about where he was drafted?! It was 2005 & he's since won two MVP awards & a Super Bowl MVP! We're still talking about the draft?!
You know what: SHUT UP, ESPN.
3. Finally, let's play What is Jon Gruden Talking About?
* Gruden: "Randall Cobb...I had a great conversation with him on the bus!"
The bus?
And:
"I know statistics are meaningless"
Pardon?
Game 23 - James Madison at SMU
September 26 at Ford Stadium in Dallas, TX
espn3.com
James Madison probably isn't going to beat many good FBS teams, but I have to imagine that every average-to-below-average team (like SMU) has a chance of losing to the Dukes, who are one of the top teams in FCS.
SMU led 45-41 after consecutive touchdown runs by quarterback Matt Davis. JMU, which finished with a ridiculous 729 total yards of offense, responded with a 17-yard touchdown pass from Vad Lee to John Miller for the winning points in a 48-45 victory.
* Midway through the fourth quarter, color commentator Stan Lewter said "we are watching two of the best quarterbacks in the country."
Look, Davis and Lee are good quarterbacks and both had really nice nights (Lee ran for 276 yards, Davis had 357 yards of total offense). But, Stan, you aren't in your living room with a can of Busch, you're on television with a can of Busch and there's a microphone in front of your face.
* Some more Lewter:
"Key third down here."
Every single third down is key.
"You can't talk enough about the James Madison offensive line."
Yes you can.
espn3.com
James Madison probably isn't going to beat many good FBS teams, but I have to imagine that every average-to-below-average team (like SMU) has a chance of losing to the Dukes, who are one of the top teams in FCS.
SMU led 45-41 after consecutive touchdown runs by quarterback Matt Davis. JMU, which finished with a ridiculous 729 total yards of offense, responded with a 17-yard touchdown pass from Vad Lee to John Miller for the winning points in a 48-45 victory.
* Midway through the fourth quarter, color commentator Stan Lewter said "we are watching two of the best quarterbacks in the country."
Look, Davis and Lee are good quarterbacks and both had really nice nights (Lee ran for 276 yards, Davis had 357 yards of total offense). But, Stan, you aren't in your living room with a can of Busch, you're on television with a can of Busch and there's a microphone in front of your face.
* Some more Lewter:
"Key third down here."
Every single third down is key.
"You can't talk enough about the James Madison offensive line."
Yes you can.
Game 22 - Southern Mississippi at Nebraska
September 26 at Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, NE
ESPN
I wanted to start with something color commentator Rocky Boiman said about a Nebraska player:
"He's really starting to grow from being such a young guy."
Rocky!
Boiman also mentioned twice how he's expecting there to be Andy Janovich t-shirts available on Nebraska's campus next week, so let's keep our eyes open for that.
* Southern Miss had lost its last two times in Lincoln by a combined score of 105-33, so to only lose 36-28 on Saturday was certainly a triumph.
The Golden Eagles got the benefit of a questionable pass interference call to get within that final, eight-point margin with about seven minutes to play. But Nebraska hung on to move to 2-2.
The passing game was really the only thing that went well for the visitors, and it went really well because Nick Mullens threw for 447 yards & two TD and Nebraska's secondary was horrendous the entire game.
Let's get to some Football Phrases
"Running back by committee" (said twice)
"12th man"
"Shakin' and bakin'"
"Rugby-style kick" (4)
"Trickeration"
"Goose egg"
"Vanilla defense" (2)
"Tip drill" (2)
"Cat and mouse game"
"Sea of red" (3)
"Tougher sledding"
"4th down and manageable" (2)
"Smelling blood in the water"
"Red zone" (7)
"Set up the convoy"
And some player & program-specific phrases
"Ndamukong Suh light"
"Cornhusker Nation"
ESPN
I wanted to start with something color commentator Rocky Boiman said about a Nebraska player:
"He's really starting to grow from being such a young guy."
Rocky!
Boiman also mentioned twice how he's expecting there to be Andy Janovich t-shirts available on Nebraska's campus next week, so let's keep our eyes open for that.
* Southern Miss had lost its last two times in Lincoln by a combined score of 105-33, so to only lose 36-28 on Saturday was certainly a triumph.
The Golden Eagles got the benefit of a questionable pass interference call to get within that final, eight-point margin with about seven minutes to play. But Nebraska hung on to move to 2-2.
The passing game was really the only thing that went well for the visitors, and it went really well because Nick Mullens threw for 447 yards & two TD and Nebraska's secondary was horrendous the entire game.
Let's get to some Football Phrases
"Running back by committee" (said twice)
"12th man"
"Shakin' and bakin'"
"Rugby-style kick" (4)
"Trickeration"
"Goose egg"
"Vanilla defense" (2)
"Tip drill" (2)
"Cat and mouse game"
"Sea of red" (3)
"Tougher sledding"
"4th down and manageable" (2)
"Smelling blood in the water"
"Red zone" (7)
"Set up the convoy"
And some player & program-specific phrases
"Ndamukong Suh light"
"Cornhusker Nation"
Game 20 - Cincinnati at Memphis
September 24 at the Liberty Bowl in Memphis, TN
ESPN
Sometimes you watch a game, see a ton of points being scored and think "wow! these offenses are excellent!" Then you have a few Cheetos, take a few steps back and realize "wow! these defenses really stink!"
There were 11 lead changes and the teams combined for over 1,300 yards in Memphis' 53-46 victory. Cincinnati had 752 of the yards, including backup quarterback Hayden Moore throwing for 557.
He was the backup.
Anyway, let's get to some Football Phrases, shall we?
Jesse Palmer never disappoints. Take it, "Jess"
"Working through his progressions"
"Eye candy" (said twice)
"Controlling traffic"
"Hurting you with his feet"
"Shoot out" (2)
"Out-numbered at the point of attack"
"Haymakers"
"All of his arsenal on display"
"Wholesale changes"
"Ebbs and flows"
"That's a bullet, it's coming in hot"
"The teeth of the Cincinnati defense"
"Walk out of the Liberty Bowl with a 'dub'"
"Leave it all out on the field"
"Timeouts in their back pocket"
We'll close with THIS YOUNG MAN:
ESPN
Sometimes you watch a game, see a ton of points being scored and think "wow! these offenses are excellent!" Then you have a few Cheetos, take a few steps back and realize "wow! these defenses really stink!"
There were 11 lead changes and the teams combined for over 1,300 yards in Memphis' 53-46 victory. Cincinnati had 752 of the yards, including backup quarterback Hayden Moore throwing for 557.
He was the backup.
Anyway, let's get to some Football Phrases, shall we?
Jesse Palmer never disappoints. Take it, "Jess"
"Working through his progressions"
"Eye candy" (said twice)
"Controlling traffic"
"Hurting you with his feet"
"Shoot out" (2)
"Out-numbered at the point of attack"
"Haymakers"
"All of his arsenal on display"
"Wholesale changes"
"Ebbs and flows"
"That's a bullet, it's coming in hot"
"The teeth of the Cincinnati defense"
"Walk out of the Liberty Bowl with a 'dub'"
"Leave it all out on the field"
"Timeouts in their back pocket"
We'll close with THIS YOUNG MAN:
Game 19 - Winnipeg Blue Bombers at Montreal Alouettes
September 20 at Molson Stadium in Montreal Canada
TSN
This was my first Canadian League Football game. Sure, I'd seen some Rocket Ismail highlights decades ago, but Sunday was my first start-to-finish CFL game.
It was a little different than the American game, but when it came to interviews with quarterbacks & the announcers it was just the same silliness with a different accent.
* First, let's play Count The Cliches with Montreal QB Jonathan Crompton, who led his team to a 35-14 victory.
"I'm a big believer in adversity (1) brings out your true character (2) and also builds character (3). I think everybody's always faced with adversity (4), but it's about how you handle it (5). We all know at the end of the day (6), we're all here for one goal (7)...do all the things that we're here to do (8)."
* Football Phrases, aye? (sorry, it won't happen again)
"Right into the scrum"
"Pipeline"
"Plow his way for a first down"
"A shot right to the ear hole"
"Zigs and zags"
"Perennial all star"
"Long field"
"Still finding his niche here"
"You want the keys to the car"
"What have you done for me lately"
* And finally, Montreal coach Jim Popp challenged a call in the second quarter and lost. Then we found out Popp is 1-for-7 this year on challenges. Keep up the excellent work, Jim!
TSN
This was my first Canadian League Football game. Sure, I'd seen some Rocket Ismail highlights decades ago, but Sunday was my first start-to-finish CFL game.
It was a little different than the American game, but when it came to interviews with quarterbacks & the announcers it was just the same silliness with a different accent.
* First, let's play Count The Cliches with Montreal QB Jonathan Crompton, who led his team to a 35-14 victory.
"I'm a big believer in adversity (1) brings out your true character (2) and also builds character (3). I think everybody's always faced with adversity (4), but it's about how you handle it (5). We all know at the end of the day (6), we're all here for one goal (7)...do all the things that we're here to do (8)."
* Football Phrases, aye? (sorry, it won't happen again)
"Right into the scrum"
"Pipeline"
"Plow his way for a first down"
"A shot right to the ear hole"
"Zigs and zags"
"Perennial all star"
"Long field"
"Still finding his niche here"
"You want the keys to the car"
"What have you done for me lately"
* And finally, Montreal coach Jim Popp challenged a call in the second quarter and lost. Then we found out Popp is 1-for-7 this year on challenges. Keep up the excellent work, Jim!
Game 18 - Mississippi at Alabama
September 19 at Bryant-Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa, AL
ESPN
Couple quick things from a 43-37 Mississippi victory:
A lot of 'ages' to go through over the course of this football broadcast. Kirk Herbstreit & Chris Fowler, take it a way.
"Soft coverage"/"Sink into coverage"/"Using their eyes to manipulate coverage"
"Short yardage package"
"Leverage on the football"
Some other nonsense from Herbstreit:
"Pinning their ears"
"Rub route"
"Energizer bunny"
"Tackle in space"
"Providing that swagger"
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
Let's all welcome to the team Mississippi wide receiver Damore'ea Stringfellow
ESPN
Couple quick things from a 43-37 Mississippi victory:
A lot of 'ages' to go through over the course of this football broadcast. Kirk Herbstreit & Chris Fowler, take it a way.
"Soft coverage"/"Sink into coverage"/"Using their eyes to manipulate coverage"
"Short yardage package"
"Leverage on the football"
Some other nonsense from Herbstreit:
"Pinning their ears"
"Rub route"
"Energizer bunny"
"Tackle in space"
"Providing that swagger"
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
Let's all welcome to the team Mississippi wide receiver Damore'ea Stringfellow
Game 17 - Western Carolina at Tennessee
September 19 at Neyland Stadium in Knoxville, TN
Before we get to the game, which Tennessee won handily 55-10, I'd like to take this opportunity to say that we have to do something about the graffiti problem in Knoxville.
Anyway, the Vols had no problem with the visitors from Cullowhee, North Carolina (had to look that one up), piling up nearly 450 yards in the lopsided victory.
I covered Tennessee wide receiver Preston Williams when he was at Lovejoy High School (Clayton County, GA), but had honestly forgotten about him until the 6-4 wide out caught the first of two touchdowns.
It was the first collegiate catches for Williams & it was part of a big day for the hosts, who also got a kick off return (Evan Berry) and a punt return (Alvin Kamara) for scores in the same game for the first time since October 28, 1950.
I remember that win over Washington & Lee like it was 64 years and 356 days ago.
Before we get to the game, which Tennessee won handily 55-10, I'd like to take this opportunity to say that we have to do something about the graffiti problem in Knoxville.
Anyway, the Vols had no problem with the visitors from Cullowhee, North Carolina (had to look that one up), piling up nearly 450 yards in the lopsided victory.
I covered Tennessee wide receiver Preston Williams when he was at Lovejoy High School (Clayton County, GA), but had honestly forgotten about him until the 6-4 wide out caught the first of two touchdowns.
It was the first collegiate catches for Williams & it was part of a big day for the hosts, who also got a kick off return (Evan Berry) and a punt return (Alvin Kamara) for scores in the same game for the first time since October 28, 1950.
I remember that win over Washington & Lee like it was 64 years and 356 days ago.
Game 16 - Tulsa at Oklahoma
September 19 at Memorial Stadium in Norman, OK
Fox 1
Oklahoma quarterback Baker Mayfield seemed to total about 7,000 yards in this one, a 52-38 Sooners's victory. It turned out Mayfield only threw for 487 and four TD (and ran for 85 and another two scores), setting a school record with 572 yards.
Tulsa's Dane Evans passed for 427 yards and four TD himself as the Golden Hurricane trailed just 31-24 at the half, but Tulsa won Worst Defense.
* Color commentator Spencer Tillman had a few things to say. Here's his top 7:
7. "The teeth of that stunt"
6. "Take the ball out of his belly"
5. "Wait for the cavalry"
4. "Finds real estate, it's all about location, location, location"
3. "The glue of the defense"
2. "What you call a banjo coverage"
1. "When one of your strings break you can still make music"
Fox 1
Oklahoma quarterback Baker Mayfield seemed to total about 7,000 yards in this one, a 52-38 Sooners's victory. It turned out Mayfield only threw for 487 and four TD (and ran for 85 and another two scores), setting a school record with 572 yards.
Tulsa's Dane Evans passed for 427 yards and four TD himself as the Golden Hurricane trailed just 31-24 at the half, but Tulsa won Worst Defense.
* Color commentator Spencer Tillman had a few things to say. Here's his top 7:
7. "The teeth of that stunt"
6. "Take the ball out of his belly"
5. "Wait for the cavalry"
4. "Finds real estate, it's all about location, location, location"
3. "The glue of the defense"
2. "What you call a banjo coverage"
1. "When one of your strings break you can still make music"
Game 14 - Clemson at Louisville
September 17 at Papa Johns Stadium in Louisville, KY
ESPN
Well, it wasn't the prettiest ACC opener, but while Clemson survived on the road 20-17 to move to 3-0, Louisville is 0-3 for the first time since 1984.
The Cardinals are struggling, and though next week's game against Samford should be win No. 1, a potentially tough game at N.C. State is followed by another road game at defending conference champion Florida State. Louisville could be staring at a 1-5/0-3 ACC start.
But enough of that, let's take a look at some of the ridiculous things Jesse Palmer and David Pollack said!
Palmer
"Launching pad game"
"Ball security"
"Dependable workhorse back" (why did football people invent the term "workhorse" if they were just going to add a second word that is very similar to workhorse?)
"Extra curricular activity"
"Let him be the hammer"
"Situational football" (EVERYTHING is a situation)
Pollack
"Your defense has been salty all night"
"Household name"
"Ball hawk"
"Locating the football with his eyes" (instead of the usual strategy, ears)
ESPN
Well, it wasn't the prettiest ACC opener, but while Clemson survived on the road 20-17 to move to 3-0, Louisville is 0-3 for the first time since 1984.
The Cardinals are struggling, and though next week's game against Samford should be win No. 1, a potentially tough game at N.C. State is followed by another road game at defending conference champion Florida State. Louisville could be staring at a 1-5/0-3 ACC start.
But enough of that, let's take a look at some of the ridiculous things Jesse Palmer and David Pollack said!
Palmer
"Launching pad game"
"Ball security"
"Dependable workhorse back" (why did football people invent the term "workhorse" if they were just going to add a second word that is very similar to workhorse?)
"Extra curricular activity"
"Let him be the hammer"
"Situational football" (EVERYTHING is a situation)
Pollack
"Your defense has been salty all night"
"Household name"
"Ball hawk"
"Locating the football with his eyes" (instead of the usual strategy, ears)
Game 13 - Minnesota Vikings at San Francisco 49ers
September 14 at Levi's Stadium in Santa Clara, CA
ESPN
This was my first time listening to Trent Dilfer speak and it simply has to be the last. I can't take another forty seconds of this person talking, let alone three hours.
Dilfer spewed so much nonsense over the course of this 20-3 49ers win that A) I forgot at times that CHRIS BERMAN was also in the broadcast booth and B) I actually had to grab a second pen. MY FIRST PEN RAN OUT OF INK.
We'll call this one The Dilfer Game.
* Dilfer certainly seems to think Colin Kaepernick is going to improve quite a bit as a quarterback this season. First, he talked about how the 49ers worked with Kaepernick's release point, though he doesn't call it a "release point", he calls it a LAUNCH POINT. How do I know he calls it that? Because he said it seven times.
"Change the launch point"
"Again, change the launch point!"
"Change Kaepernick's launch point"
"Moved the launch point for Colin Kaepernick"
Things got weirder. Dilfer referred to Kaepernick as a Ferrari and that San Francisco is "going to let the Ferrari run like a Ferrari, not like a Prius." (said three times). Of course Berman thought that was hilarious.
And also: "That's a big boy throw!"
* Two of the odder moments for Dilfer occurred when he said all anyone cares about is yards (or "fantasy stats"):
1. "In the NFL, it's all about yards and fantasy stats! (But) the 49ers have to be about finish!"
So, in fantasy you get points each time a player gains a certain number of yards, but that's just for the fantasy nerds! Nerds!! Scoring is what matters.....even though in fantasy you get points for that as well.
And hang on just a second, TRENT: YARDS DON'T MATTER?! What the hell are you talking about?!
2. The Vikings' offense was pretty awful on Monday - three points, 248 total yards - not exactly a difficult test. But SF's defensive performance was plenty for Dilfer, even though nine minutes still remained in the first game of the season when he screamed "anybody who thought the '9ers defense was dead you were wrong!"
* Carlos Hyde was outstanding all night - 168 rushing yards and two touchdowns. To Dilfer, Hyde isn't just the lead running back, he's the BELL COW ON OFFENSE (said six times).
Then: "Welcome NFL to Carlos Hyde."
* First quarter, SF had a third down at the Minnesota 16.
Dilfer: "don't turn the ball over."
Thanks, Trent!
Other Football/Nonsense Phrases
"Slobberknocker"
"Third and manageable" (2)
"Third and impossible"
"Holy toledo"
"Ghost action"
"Juiced up"
"Remedial plays"
"Downhill profile"/"Passing profile"
"Pocket mechanics"
"Passing posture"
"Physicality" (2)
"Soft edge"
"War room"
"Tough sledding"
"Dink and dunk"
"Change the landscape"
"We're talking fire breathers"
Chris Berman
Just because Trent Dilfer is insufferable, doesn't mean Chris Berman isn't also completely insufferable. Berman took a back seat on Monday (his first back seat since May, 1962 - family trip to Yosemite National Park. Since, he only sits in the FRONT SEAT), but he still had a few things to say.
* Late in the game, Berman did the announcer thing and went through all the time zones to say hello - "if you're watching on the east coast, good morning," etc. Then he said this: "of course, if you're watching in Hawaii, happy dinner."
* He referred to Levi's Stadium as "The Big Bell Bottom" on three occasions, because Chris Berman is contractually obligated to have everyone hate him.
And finally, Dilfer referred to Berman as "Boom" 21 times.
That seems like a perfect place to wrap things up.
ESPN
This was my first time listening to Trent Dilfer speak and it simply has to be the last. I can't take another forty seconds of this person talking, let alone three hours.
Dilfer spewed so much nonsense over the course of this 20-3 49ers win that A) I forgot at times that CHRIS BERMAN was also in the broadcast booth and B) I actually had to grab a second pen. MY FIRST PEN RAN OUT OF INK.
We'll call this one The Dilfer Game.
* Dilfer certainly seems to think Colin Kaepernick is going to improve quite a bit as a quarterback this season. First, he talked about how the 49ers worked with Kaepernick's release point, though he doesn't call it a "release point", he calls it a LAUNCH POINT. How do I know he calls it that? Because he said it seven times.
"Change the launch point"
"Again, change the launch point!"
"Change Kaepernick's launch point"
"Moved the launch point for Colin Kaepernick"
Things got weirder. Dilfer referred to Kaepernick as a Ferrari and that San Francisco is "going to let the Ferrari run like a Ferrari, not like a Prius." (said three times). Of course Berman thought that was hilarious.
And also: "That's a big boy throw!"
* Two of the odder moments for Dilfer occurred when he said all anyone cares about is yards (or "fantasy stats"):
1. "In the NFL, it's all about yards and fantasy stats! (But) the 49ers have to be about finish!"
So, in fantasy you get points each time a player gains a certain number of yards, but that's just for the fantasy nerds! Nerds!! Scoring is what matters.....even though in fantasy you get points for that as well.
And hang on just a second, TRENT: YARDS DON'T MATTER?! What the hell are you talking about?!
2. The Vikings' offense was pretty awful on Monday - three points, 248 total yards - not exactly a difficult test. But SF's defensive performance was plenty for Dilfer, even though nine minutes still remained in the first game of the season when he screamed "anybody who thought the '9ers defense was dead you were wrong!"
* Carlos Hyde was outstanding all night - 168 rushing yards and two touchdowns. To Dilfer, Hyde isn't just the lead running back, he's the BELL COW ON OFFENSE (said six times).
Then: "Welcome NFL to Carlos Hyde."
* First quarter, SF had a third down at the Minnesota 16.
Dilfer: "don't turn the ball over."
Thanks, Trent!
Other Football/Nonsense Phrases
"Slobberknocker"
"Third and manageable" (2)
"Third and impossible"
"Holy toledo"
"Ghost action"
"Juiced up"
"Remedial plays"
"Downhill profile"/"Passing profile"
"Pocket mechanics"
"Passing posture"
"Physicality" (2)
"Soft edge"
"War room"
"Tough sledding"
"Dink and dunk"
"Change the landscape"
"We're talking fire breathers"
Chris Berman
Just because Trent Dilfer is insufferable, doesn't mean Chris Berman isn't also completely insufferable. Berman took a back seat on Monday (his first back seat since May, 1962 - family trip to Yosemite National Park. Since, he only sits in the FRONT SEAT), but he still had a few things to say.
* Late in the game, Berman did the announcer thing and went through all the time zones to say hello - "if you're watching on the east coast, good morning," etc. Then he said this: "of course, if you're watching in Hawaii, happy dinner."
* He referred to Levi's Stadium as "The Big Bell Bottom" on three occasions, because Chris Berman is contractually obligated to have everyone hate him.
And finally, Dilfer referred to Berman as "Boom" 21 times.
That seems like a perfect place to wrap things up.
Game 12 - New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys
September 13 at AT&T Stadium in Dallas, TX
NBC
With seven seconds left, Tony Romo dropped a somewhat low snap, recovered quickly and threw a touchdown to Jason Witten for the game-winner in a 27-26 Dallas victory.
It was Witten's second TD during a nice come back for the Cowboys, who trailed 23-13 in the fourth.
I had originally typed Tono Romo. But I like Tono Romy even better.
As far as this site is concerned, he's Tono Romy.
Al & Chris
I spend a majority of my time on this site and at 300gameseason.blogspot.com picking on announcers. Despite being pleasant to listen to, Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth don't get off easy.
Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie was hurt and being attended to on the field late in the first quarter.
Here's Michaels:
"That's one of the guys they can most afford not to lose."
And some regular Football Phrases from both:
"On the steps of Canton"
"The ultimate security blanket"
"Out-muscle somebody"
"Skill sets"
"Yeoman work"
"Gang tackled"
"The other side of the two-minute warning"
"Leave him on an island"
"They preach hustle"
NBC
With seven seconds left, Tony Romo dropped a somewhat low snap, recovered quickly and threw a touchdown to Jason Witten for the game-winner in a 27-26 Dallas victory.
It was Witten's second TD during a nice come back for the Cowboys, who trailed 23-13 in the fourth.
I had originally typed Tono Romo. But I like Tono Romy even better.
As far as this site is concerned, he's Tono Romy.
Al & Chris
I spend a majority of my time on this site and at 300gameseason.blogspot.com picking on announcers. Despite being pleasant to listen to, Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth don't get off easy.
Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie was hurt and being attended to on the field late in the first quarter.
Here's Michaels:
"That's one of the guys they can most afford not to lose."
And some regular Football Phrases from both:
"On the steps of Canton"
"The ultimate security blanket"
"Out-muscle somebody"
"Skill sets"
"Yeoman work"
"Gang tackled"
"The other side of the two-minute warning"
"Leave him on an island"
"They preach hustle"
Game 10 - Tulane at Georgia Tech
September 12 at Bobby Dodd Stadium in Atlanta, GA
Fox Sports South
Tulane's defense: yikes.
No. 15 Georgia Tech rolled up 571 yards in a 65-10 win, which turned out to be Tulane's worst loss since a 63-10 thumping against Louisiana-Monroe in September, 2012.
I might use "thumping" a few more times this season.
Fox interviewed former Tech quarterback Joe Hamilton during the fourth quarter and Joseph said "he's in the fox hole with them". He wasn't going to get away with that.
Fox Sports South
Tulane's defense: yikes.
No. 15 Georgia Tech rolled up 571 yards in a 65-10 win, which turned out to be Tulane's worst loss since a 63-10 thumping against Louisiana-Monroe in September, 2012.
I might use "thumping" a few more times this season.
Fox interviewed former Tech quarterback Joe Hamilton during the fourth quarter and Joseph said "he's in the fox hole with them". He wasn't going to get away with that.
Game 9 - South Florida at Florida State
September 12 at Doak Campbell Stadium in Tallahassee, FL
ESPN
South Florida was in a great position to pull the huge upset, going into the halftime locker room tied at 7-7 with the No. 11 Seminoles. Unfortunately the Bulls had to play another half and Dalvin Cook scored from 24 yards on the fourth play of the third quarter, helping FSU pull away in a 34-14 victory.
Cook had a huge day - 266 yards and averaged nine per carry - so he's a "player of the game", according to cbssports.com. South Florida's D'Ernest Johnson had 89 receiving yards and the team's two touchdowns, but cbs isn't interested in that.
Faceless D'Ernest Johnson the running back? Player of the game.
Football Phrases
Good day of silliness for Bob Wischusen & Brock Huard.
"Weather the storm"
"Difference makers on the D-line"
"Gang tackling"
"Sluggish start"
"Bubble screen"
"A man possessed"
"Stay in character"/"High-character guys"
"Horizontal stuff"
"Route run"
"Too much mustard"
"He's a young pup"
"Plus territory"
"You've got to put it in his belly"
"Eyebrow-raising score"
"Old school"
"Flipping field position"
"That's in his DNA"
"Bull rush"
"Exotic blitz"
"They're going to get a tongue lashing"
"Win the line of scrimmage"
"Use his physical gifts"
"That land shark identity"
"Tasted no adversity"
"Sparty"
ESPN
South Florida was in a great position to pull the huge upset, going into the halftime locker room tied at 7-7 with the No. 11 Seminoles. Unfortunately the Bulls had to play another half and Dalvin Cook scored from 24 yards on the fourth play of the third quarter, helping FSU pull away in a 34-14 victory.
Cook had a huge day - 266 yards and averaged nine per carry - so he's a "player of the game", according to cbssports.com. South Florida's D'Ernest Johnson had 89 receiving yards and the team's two touchdowns, but cbs isn't interested in that.
Faceless D'Ernest Johnson the running back? Player of the game.
Football Phrases
Good day of silliness for Bob Wischusen & Brock Huard.
"Weather the storm"
"Difference makers on the D-line"
"Gang tackling"
"Sluggish start"
"Bubble screen"
"A man possessed"
"Stay in character"/"High-character guys"
"Horizontal stuff"
"Route run"
"Too much mustard"
"He's a young pup"
"Plus territory"
"You've got to put it in his belly"
"Eyebrow-raising score"
"Old school"
"Flipping field position"
"That's in his DNA"
"Bull rush"
"Exotic blitz"
"They're going to get a tongue lashing"
"Win the line of scrimmage"
"Use his physical gifts"
"That land shark identity"
"Tasted no adversity"
"Sparty"
Game 7 - Pittsburgh Steelers at New England Patriots
September 10 at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, MA
NBC
It was last November when I first discovered Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth's love of referring to Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger as "Ben".
Al & Chris were back on Thursday in the NFL season opener, won by the Patriots 28-21.
Let's take a look at Thursday's Ben count:
First half
Collinsworth: said twice
Michaels: 9
Second half
CC: 9
AM: 9
Total Bens: 29
Bens/half: 14.5
Notable Bens
"Ben buys time"
"Ben throws too high"
"Take a look at Ben through his career"
"Obviously Ben was thinking right shoulder"
"Good pocket for Ben"
"Ben's gonna throw"
"Ben under pressure"
"Ben limping"
"Ben basically threw it out of bounds"
"Not sure Ben couldn't have just run that into the end zone"
"Ben really had nothing"
"Ben's taken advantage of them a little bit"
"There goes Ben, escaping"
"It was really fun to watch the Patriots practice what Ben does"
"Ben just finding anybody"
* Also, at one point Collinsworth & Michaels were talking about New England defensive coordinator Matt Patricia, and specifically that he had a pencil behind his ear.
Michaels: "And there's the pencil behind his ear. Like Belichick."
Collinsworth: "Some things you have to do if you coach here."
What are those things?
Use a pencil?
Put a pencil behind your ear?
NBC
It was last November when I first discovered Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth's love of referring to Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger as "Ben".
Al & Chris were back on Thursday in the NFL season opener, won by the Patriots 28-21.
Let's take a look at Thursday's Ben count:
First half
Collinsworth: said twice
Michaels: 9
Second half
CC: 9
AM: 9
Total Bens: 29
Bens/half: 14.5
Notable Bens
"Ben buys time"
"Ben throws too high"
"Take a look at Ben through his career"
"Obviously Ben was thinking right shoulder"
"Good pocket for Ben"
"Ben's gonna throw"
"Ben under pressure"
"Ben limping"
"Ben basically threw it out of bounds"
"Not sure Ben couldn't have just run that into the end zone"
"Ben really had nothing"
"Ben's taken advantage of them a little bit"
"There goes Ben, escaping"
"It was really fun to watch the Patriots practice what Ben does"
"Ben just finding anybody"
* Also, at one point Collinsworth & Michaels were talking about New England defensive coordinator Matt Patricia, and specifically that he had a pencil behind his ear.
Michaels: "And there's the pencil behind his ear. Like Belichick."
Collinsworth: "Some things you have to do if you coach here."
What are those things?
Use a pencil?
Put a pencil behind your ear?
Game 6 - Ohio State at Virginia Tech
September 7 at Lane Stadium in Blacksburg, VA
ESPN
Virginia Tech trailed 14-0 early and led 17-14 at halftime, but the second half belonged to the defending national champions.
Ohio State racked up 546 total yards and scored 28 unanswered points to pull away from the Hokies in a 42-24 victory.
Part of that four-touchdown spurt was the outstanding play of Braxton Miller. The OSU receiver caught a 54-yard touchdown from Cardale Jones on the first series of the second half, then made a ridiculous spin move as part of a 53-yard scoring catch that put the Buckeyes up 28-17. Just before that, VT's J.C. Coleman fumbled to set up OSU in great field position.
What else do we know about Coleman? Not much, just that he WEARS A WRIST WATCH DURING GAMES.
Few questions:
1. Why would Coleman need to know the TIME OF DAY/NIGHT while playing a football game?
2. Why is the watch so big?
3. Is the watch part of the wristband? Because that would clear a few things up.
4. Is this guy serious?
5. A watch?!
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
Let me introduce the newest member of the All Star team, OSU cornerback Eli Apple.
Football Phrases
Kirk Herbstreit is a solid commentator, but he's got a football phrase rolodex that measures up with any announcer in the business.
Kirk?
"High risk high reward"
"Laser focus"
"They're not resting on their laurels"
"Swagger"
"It's in his DNA"
"Bend but don't break defense"
"The teeth of this defense"
"In the trenches"
"They want to shoot gaps"
"Ball skills"
"Live by the sword, die by the sword"
"A bread and butter play"
"Minister of defense"
"Blue collar approach"
"Chess match"
"Backyard football"
"Pick six"
"Game reps"
"Meaningful snaps"
And let's not make the mistake of forgetting the night put together by play-by-play man Chris Fowler:
"Lighting strikes"
"Nothing but green grass in front of him"
"Hokie lunchpail"
"Wear and tear"
"Wheel route"
"Tough little customer"
"Change of pace guy"
"Move the chains"
"Escapability"
"Sack parade"
"Workmanlike"
And....
"He's a football player"
Well, thank goodness for that. Thanks, Chris!
ESPN
Virginia Tech trailed 14-0 early and led 17-14 at halftime, but the second half belonged to the defending national champions.
Ohio State racked up 546 total yards and scored 28 unanswered points to pull away from the Hokies in a 42-24 victory.
Part of that four-touchdown spurt was the outstanding play of Braxton Miller. The OSU receiver caught a 54-yard touchdown from Cardale Jones on the first series of the second half, then made a ridiculous spin move as part of a 53-yard scoring catch that put the Buckeyes up 28-17. Just before that, VT's J.C. Coleman fumbled to set up OSU in great field position.
What else do we know about Coleman? Not much, just that he WEARS A WRIST WATCH DURING GAMES.
Few questions:
1. Why would Coleman need to know the TIME OF DAY/NIGHT while playing a football game?
2. Why is the watch so big?
3. Is the watch part of the wristband? Because that would clear a few things up.
4. Is this guy serious?
5. A watch?!
Hendrick Ekpe All Stars
Let me introduce the newest member of the All Star team, OSU cornerback Eli Apple.
Football Phrases
Kirk Herbstreit is a solid commentator, but he's got a football phrase rolodex that measures up with any announcer in the business.
Kirk?
"High risk high reward"
"Laser focus"
"They're not resting on their laurels"
"Swagger"
"It's in his DNA"
"Bend but don't break defense"
"The teeth of this defense"
"In the trenches"
"They want to shoot gaps"
"Ball skills"
"Live by the sword, die by the sword"
"A bread and butter play"
"Minister of defense"
"Blue collar approach"
"Chess match"
"Backyard football"
"Pick six"
"Game reps"
"Meaningful snaps"
And let's not make the mistake of forgetting the night put together by play-by-play man Chris Fowler:
"Lighting strikes"
"Nothing but green grass in front of him"
"Hokie lunchpail"
"Wear and tear"
"Wheel route"
"Tough little customer"
"Change of pace guy"
"Move the chains"
"Escapability"
"Sack parade"
"Workmanlike"
And....
"He's a football player"
Well, thank goodness for that. Thanks, Chris!
Game 4 - TCU at Minnesota
September 3 at TCF Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, MN
ESPN
Trevone Boykin is a Heisman Trophy candidate and the Horn Frogs needed every bit of his 338 all-purpose yards and two touchdowns to hang on, 23-17.
Minnesota got a Mitch Leidner-to-KJ Maye touchdown with about a minute and a half left to get within six points, then had one final shot to tie/win the game, but could only get to its own 27 as time expired.
* Football Phrases
"A program on the rise"
"Keep the chains moving"
"All the players bought in"
"3rd and medium"
"The game is not too big for him"
"Flip the field"
* Throughout the season we'll be building the 100 Game Season all-name team, which we'll call, thanks to our first team member, the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars.
Ekpe, Minnesota's defensive end, has also been named team captain.
ESPN
Trevone Boykin is a Heisman Trophy candidate and the Horn Frogs needed every bit of his 338 all-purpose yards and two touchdowns to hang on, 23-17.
Minnesota got a Mitch Leidner-to-KJ Maye touchdown with about a minute and a half left to get within six points, then had one final shot to tie/win the game, but could only get to its own 27 as time expired.
* Football Phrases
"A program on the rise"
"Keep the chains moving"
"All the players bought in"
"3rd and medium"
"The game is not too big for him"
"Flip the field"
* Throughout the season we'll be building the 100 Game Season all-name team, which we'll call, thanks to our first team member, the Hendrick Ekpe All Stars.
Ekpe, Minnesota's defensive end, has also been named team captain.
Game 3 - Alcorn State at Georgia Tech
September 3 at Bobby Dodd Stadium in Atlanta, GA
ACC Network
The college football season has begun, so that means we get right to broadcaster nonsense. The kick off shouldn't be the opening to a football game; it should just be some nuntz in the booth yelling about pocket presence and there we go: game starts.
This list is going to get ridiculously long over the coming weeks, but Tom Werme & James Bates sure got us off to a nice start on opening night.
Gentleman?
"Dual threat quarterback"
"Identity crisis"
"Reps"
"Big, bad bruiser"
"He's special"
"Next level"
"Under his own power"
"Stopped stone cold"
"Maintain your gap control"
"The young man's got to hold on to the rock"
"That was a rhythm play"
"Toting the rock"
"Adversity strikes"
"Tough as nails"
And a couple Special Moments:
"Came in...hungry for some Alcorn State offensive blood"
and
"Welcome to Atlanta where the players play"
ACC Network
The college football season has begun, so that means we get right to broadcaster nonsense. The kick off shouldn't be the opening to a football game; it should just be some nuntz in the booth yelling about pocket presence and there we go: game starts.
This list is going to get ridiculously long over the coming weeks, but Tom Werme & James Bates sure got us off to a nice start on opening night.
Gentleman?
"Dual threat quarterback"
"Identity crisis"
"Reps"
"Big, bad bruiser"
"He's special"
"Next level"
"Under his own power"
"Stopped stone cold"
"Maintain your gap control"
"The young man's got to hold on to the rock"
"That was a rhythm play"
"Toting the rock"
"Adversity strikes"
"Tough as nails"
And a couple Special Moments:
"Came in...hungry for some Alcorn State offensive blood"
and
"Welcome to Atlanta where the players play"
Game 1 - Heritage HS at Rockdale HS
August 21 at Reid Stadium in Conyers, GA
Best photograph taken pre-game was of Rockdale quarterback Zuri Minnifield, so naturally Minnifield turned the ball over five times in Rockdale's 27-21 victory.
Best photograph taken pre-game was of Rockdale quarterback Zuri Minnifield, so naturally Minnifield turned the ball over five times in Rockdale's 27-21 victory.
Now what the hell are you doing?
After watching more than 300 baseball games for 300gameseason.blogspot.com, I figured a logical next step would be to watch 100 football games.
Why 100? Because Mark Bavaro was the 100th overall selection in the 1985 NFL Draft.
The goal is to have watched at least (could be more) 100 games by Car Commercial Sunday. That includes live games & TV replays of games that have already been completed.
We'll be documenting the usual announcer nonsense as well as building an all-name team. Just like the good, old days (a few months ago).
** Coming soon **
- 10 Alpharetta (GA) Men's Adult Roller Hockey Game Season
- A Golf Tournament Season
Why 100? Because Mark Bavaro was the 100th overall selection in the 1985 NFL Draft.
The goal is to have watched at least (could be more) 100 games by Car Commercial Sunday. That includes live games & TV replays of games that have already been completed.
We'll be documenting the usual announcer nonsense as well as building an all-name team. Just like the good, old days (a few months ago).
** Coming soon **
- 10 Alpharetta (GA) Men's Adult Roller Hockey Game Season
- A Golf Tournament Season
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